


Crash Landed

by JanewaysEngineer, MagdaleneJaneway



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Delusions, F/F, Feelings revealed, Femslash, Making up jargon as we go, Medical Procedures, POV Alternating, Romantic attraction, Shuttle Accident, character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:28:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25406929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanewaysEngineer/pseuds/JanewaysEngineer, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagdaleneJaneway/pseuds/MagdaleneJaneway
Summary: Kathryn Janeway and B'Elanna Torres are involved in a shuttle accident, B'Elanna is hurt, feelings develop, what will happen?
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway & B'Elanna Torres, Kathryn Janeway/B'Elanna Torres
Comments: 43
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

Part 1

B’Elanna Torres was not in the best of moods. Another attack had come and gone, knocking out Voyager’s warp engines and several key systems. On top of that, some of the engineering supply reserves were running low. She had been pushing Captain Janeway to find them a source of materials for weeks. They had finally entered a system that had various planets with viable options for Voyager. Neelix had requested to take a team to find plants to re-supply their foodstuffs. B’Elanna was taking the Sacajawea to collect the necessary minerals. What she had not factored in was the last enemy leaving them stranded. B’Elanna could delegate her Engineering team across the ship to get repairs in an instant. She was finding that she would have to do that now as she prepared to leave the ship. She hated leaving in the middle of repairs but there was a need for supplies.

The former Maquis turned Startfleet Officer had truly grown into her role as the Chief Engineer. She had embraced the protocol and rigor of the work to maintain Voyager so far from the Alpha Quadrant. She knew she owed a great deal to Captain Kathryn Janeway for giving her the chance. She felt something tight in her chest when she thought about the upstart Starfleet Captain. She harbored an attraction to the woman that was unlike anything she had ever felt, but the engineer would take that with her to Sto’Vo’Kor. She knew there was no chance of those feelings being returned. Their relationship had shifted when Seven came aboard. She never let those thoughts of her commanding officer linger. B’Elanna was too busy giving out orders to her engineering crew as she collected her trusty engineering kit, never leaving Voyager without it, and the equipment she would need to mine the materials they needed. She was running on empty as it was and found herself rather irritable. It was no secret that when the ship was in disarray, B’Elanna spent long hours in Engineering, working through the Alpha and Beta shifts, sometimes into the Gamma before she became exhausted and would allow one of the other engineers to chase her out.

With her Engineering staff busy, B’Elanna left her Engine Room and made her way to the shuttle bay. She had not been briefed on who was accompanying her on the mission except for the fact that she was going at the insistence of the First Officer. Chakotay had been adamant about it, stating, ‘No one can assess the appropriate materials like you, B’Elanna,’ as if none of the other engineers were capable. Chakotay knew she needed to get off the ship. He knew B’Elanna was still dealing with the death of the Maquis and the breakup with Tom Paris. He was smart enough to not voice the concern outloud for fear of losing the tattoo on his face. She walked into the shuttle bay and headed for the Sacajawea. She boarded the shuttle only to tuck her kit and supplies away before moving to the helm to start the pre-flight sequence. 

“Well, hello B’Elanna…”, the warm alto voice of the captain came up behind her.

B’Elanna swiveled in the chair and turned to look at Captain Kathryn Janeway. “Captain!” she said in surprise. “You’re coming with me?” She peered around her to see who else was accompanying them. 

“Yes, well, I’m afraid I’ve been a bit of a grouch the last couple days and my XO wisely suggested I might like a respite away from the ship,” the captain chuckled. What she didn’t say aloud was that Chakotay had quietly mentioned B’Elanna’s difficulty handling her recent losses and suggested that she could use a friend to talk to about it. Janeway had been touched by his concern for his longtime best friend, and had reached out to touch his shoulder to comfort him in kinship. 

She had immediately thought back to how B’Elanna had stepped up to and grown into the mantle of the Chief Engineer for Voyager. Very early in their voyage, Janeway had known she’d made the right decision to take Chakotay’s advice on that particular crew assignment. While the captain herself was a competent engineer, B’Elanna’s creative ingenuity, her ability to “think outside the box”, even under enormous pressures, had saved Voyager and her crew on numerous occasions and had deeply impressed the Captain. Thinking about the unrelenting pressures the Delta Quadrant had thrown at them, Janeway had grinned to herself that B’Elanna couldn’t really be described as calm under pressure. The fiery half-Klingon had been known to shout her engineering staff into compliance when need be, and had even bloodied an intransigent nose on one occasion. 

But Janeway thought that her chief engineer’s emotional needs were rarely if ever on display. She sensed B’Elanna had some very human vulnerabilities under her tough exterior. Chakotay’s mention of B’Elanna’s emotional losses made her heart constrict in concern for her friend. Kathryn realized that, yes, she did feel as if B’Elanna was her friend, even if they hadn’t taken the time to enjoy that friendship. There had been many occasions, she remembered, when brainstorming on an engineering problem that their thinking had been so aligned, she had almost felt a kismet, a very close bond to the other woman. And so, she decided right there to take Chakotay’s hint to go on this away mission and be an actual friend to B’Elanna.

B’Elanna processed the words, her brow arching slightly at the idea of Commander Chakotay suggesting the Captain of the ship go on away mission. “Oh, he is annoyingly insistent sometimes, it’s hard to say no.” She said quietly, knowing full well the Captain was capable of handling any away mission. She had accompanied her many times. She turned back to finish preparing the flyer to depart Voyager.

“Voyager to Sacajawea, You are cleared to depart.” Came the voice of Chakotay through the comm. 

“Ready when you are, Captain.” B’Elanna said as she looked at her Commanding Officer.

“Alright,” Janeway smiled, “since you’re already at the helm, I’ll take copilot for now. It will be just the two of us in the Sacajawea, since the promising plantlife that Neelix has identified is located on a different planet of this system than the minerals that we need and Baytart is taking him in the Delta Flyer.” Janeway sat down and strapped into the copilot seat, punching up the sensor array on the console display. “Proceed.” 

B’Elanna nodded, “Yes, Captain.” She replied as she moved her hands over the console, maneuvering the shuttle out of the bay and into open space. “We have cleared Voyager.” She informed Janeway as she set their course for the third planet, which had the minerals they needed.

“The sensors are picking up some strange gravimetric readings on that planet.” Janeway paused. “We should get a clearer picture when we get closer to it. What is our ETA at this speed?”

“Approximately two hours.” B’Elanna replied as she focused on the console in front of her. 

“Okay,” the captain stretched, unbuckled, and rose, “would you like something to drink? I know I could really use a coffee.” She headed toward the replicator.

B’Elanna glanced over at her Captain at the question of a drink, a smirk playing across her features for a split second before it disappeared. The Captain and her coffee. She was almost positive the woman was composed completely of the beverage. “No, thank you, Captain. I am fine for now.” She replied as she settled in her seat, once more reminded how uncomfortable Starfleet shuttles were. It made her appreciate Tom’s design of the Delta Flyer. 

“Alright, just let me know if you change your mind, I’ll be happy to get it for you.” 

A soft grunt vibrated low in the engineer’s throat at the offer, B’Elanna’s dark eyes focused forward out the viewport, watching the stars zip by. She saw the movement of Janeway returning to her seat out of the corner of her eye, but didn’t look over in her direction as she settled into the trip. 

Janeway had sauntered back to her seat alongside B’Elanna, holding her coffee mug in two hands. She relaxed back into the seat, closing her eyes and deeply inhaling the bitter aroma of her fifth? sixth? cup of the day. She loved that first hot sip of every cup of coffee. She felt her muscles automatically loosen and her nerves calm. 

Author’s Notes: 

We’ve set the story! 

Stayed tuned…


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and B'Elanna begin to talk about loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres

Captain Kathryn Janeway’s thoughts turned to her secondary purpose on this away mission, that of B’Elanna’s wellbeing. She wanted to support her friend, at least she hoped B’Elanna would consider her as a friend, but knew that she would be a tough nut to crack. The two of them were similar enough for her to know that B’Elanna would worry that talking about her feelings might be perceived as a sign of weakness. 

The Captain mused that perhaps the half-Klingon would more readily open up if she herself could share her vulnerability about her own losses. Janeway sighed and gulped at the thought of how those losses still gripped her, such that she had told very few people in the universe how deeply the losses affected her. But wasn’t she asking B’Elanna to do just that, talk about it? She sighed again. Perhaps she could ease into it with B’Elanna.

“So how are you doing these days, after your recent rough patch?” She spoke softly, trying to convey an openness without judgment.

The silence was broken by Janeway’s question of how she was, causing B’Elanna to turn her head to look at her Captain. “You mean my destructive behavior on the holodeck.” She clarified for her. B’Elanna’s mind was racing in different directions now, realizing there was no way to get out of the uncomfortable conversation. It was just Janeway and her on the shuttle… there was nowhere to run, except straight out the airlock. She hadn’t seen much of the Captain since her destructive behavior on the holodecks had been discovered, when she had been confronted in Sickbay. 

The Doctor had diagnosed her as clinically depressed, which explained her weight loss, lack of sleep, and having withdrawn from her responsibilities as Chief Engineer. She had fought every urge to stop herself from disabling his program the moment the words left his holographic mouth. “Klingons do not suffer from depression,” she had responded with hostility. “Klingons who are half-human do, Lieutenant.” It was comments like the Doctor’s that reminded her that her human emotions and insecurities were just as prevalent and powerful as her Klingon tendencies. It was what made B’Elanna Torres a unique individual, as Seven would say.

“I am fine, Captain,” B’Elanna replied with a small shrug of her shoulders. She returned her gaze to the viewport, her head resting against the back of the chair. “I am following the Doctor’s treatment plan since my holodeck privileges are suspended.”

“Good. As much as I hate to admit it when it applies to my own healing process, the Doctor’s orders are meant to maximize our health and wellbeing,” she paused, “to the degree we can stomach his instructions,” she said with a wry grin. The captain knew that her resistance to the Doctor’s and Chakotay’s insistence that she rest after injury, was well-known among the senior staff. 

B’Elanna smirked at Janway’s remark. She knew the captain was just as guilty at ignoring the Doctor’s recommendations as she was. The Doctor had declared both of them his ‘most difficult patients’ aboard Voyager because they couldn’t slow down. Keeping Voyager running was her excuse.

“But there have been some additional stressors since then, haven’t there?” Again Janeway inquired softly, so as to give B’Elanna as much an opening as she needed, hoping she would feel able to talk about her recent losses.

“You mean beside the current repairs?” B’Elanna asked as she turned her dark eyes to the woman beside her. In the split second it took her to respond again, B’Elanna recognized what her captain was trying to do, engage her in personal conversation, which they rarely did. “You already know about the death of all Maquis in the Alpha Quadrant. I suppose you also already know Tom and I broke up.”

The captain’s throat clenched and her eyes softened, suspecting that even broaching the topic was hard for B’Elanna. She was grateful that B’Elanna was open to talking to her about her feelings. She wished she had a steadfast woman friend to share her feelings with…but quickly pushed those thoughts aside, and faced the task at hand.

“I can’t imagine your sense of loss on hearing about the massacre at Tevlik’s moon. The closest in my mind would be Wolf 359, which deeply affected everyone in Starfleet at the time. But as mindless as the Borg are, the outright murder of Maquis families was just senseless.” Janeway shook her head in angry disbelief. “Damn Cardassians. You must be very angry….”

B’Elanna was silent as she listened to Janeway, her gaze drifting back to the viewport, trying to keep her emotions guarded. She remembers learning about Wolf 359 during her brief enrollment at the Academy. “Of course, I’m angry.” She replies before sighing heavily. “I also know that… it could have been me, and sometimes that makes me feel guilty…” 

“Survivor’s guilt.” Janeway nodded, “I know a thing or two about that.” She thought about how desperately she had been unable to save both her father and fiancé after the shuttle crash. Subconsciously she stomped her foot. It had taken her a long time to get over that trauma until she could function again. Thank god for Phoebe. She repeated what Phoebe had once said to her. “But if you didn’t cause the trauma, then you can’t very well be at fault, can you?”, realizing that she was speaking to both B’Elanna and herself. “Did you personally know any of those killed at Tevlik? Other than the kinship of the Maquis cause that is?”

B’Elanna once more turned her gaze to Kathryn at her words of knowing about survivor's guilt. She briefly wondered what the Captain had been through. Torres imagined the captain carried a certain amount of guilt on her shoulders. She had to make decisions for the crew that no one else did. However, something told her the guilt the woman spoke of was not related to a command decision. “Yes, I knew some of the Maquis who were slaughtered.” She replied. B’Elanna inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. “Who did you lose?” She questioned. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to...” 

Author’s notes: Will Kathryn tell B’Elanna?

Stayed tuned. We will update regularly!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned to this ongoing story!  
> We adore feedback!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storytime. B'Elanna comforts Kathryn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

Kathryn took a deep breath and stood, walking over to discard her coffee mug at the replicator. She stood there briefly, absentmindedly watching as the mug’s atoms twinkled out of existence, before turning toward the cockpit where B’Elanna waited. She couldn’t bring herself to reveal the depth of her emotional pain by making eye contact, so she paced between the cockpit and the engineering station, hands on her hips looking at the deck plating. She sighed. 

B’Elanna knew the Starfleet Captain was pacing without having to turn around. “Captain, you do not have to tell me.” She finally swiveled in the chair to look at the woman.

Kathryn stopped pacing but didn’t look up. “It was my father and my fiancé. My first fiancé,” she felt compelled to add. She still looked down while her chest felt so tight. “I was a young officer at the time, assigned to help with the design and testing of an experimental shuttle that we were hoping would prove an advantage against the growing Cardassian threat.” She pushed her hands through her hair and returned to pacing with her hands on her hips. “One of the components for atmospheric flight had a fatal design flaw, which we discovered later, so the Terra Nova, that was the ship,” she said with a flick of the fingers on one hand, “crashed when we tried to maneuver lower through Tau Ceti Prime’s atmosphere.” 

“You survived the crash and they didn’t.” B’Elanna heard herself say out loud. She watched the emotion cross her Captain’s features as she spoke. She wanted to get up from her seat and offer some sort of comfort, but knew it would be weird, at least on her part. She was used to the Captain’s occasional touches, and welcomed them.

“Oh B’Elanna, that’s not even the half of it,” Kathryn’s voice broke as she stifled a small sob. “Actually we all survived the initial crash onto the surface of a frozen body of water. I was somehow thrown clear, but severely injured, including a broken leg. When I came to consciousness, I realized that Daddy and Justin were trapped inside, and the shuttle had begun sinking through the ice. I searched among the debris, and found I could cobble together a small transporter device, but I only had enough power to transport one person.”

B’Elanna sat at the helm, silent, staring at Kathryn as she revealed her personal trauma to her. She felt her own loss was minor compared to the one Kathryn carried, if for the simple fact that she avoided witnessing the Maquis deaths in person. The hologram program she had created wasn’t the same. The trauma of their situations was different, but the survivor’s guilt they carried was similar.

Janeway continued, “I kept working at it, trying to get enough power to save them both. I simply couldn’t fathom, couldn’t face having to choose one to live...and one to die. Meantime, I was fighting to stay conscious from the internal bleeding, so I would stomp my broken leg on the surface ice, and the intense pain was keeping me going.” Kathryn huffed. “Later, the counselor told me it was too early in my officer training to have been faced with a life-and-death decision, that Starfleet saves that training for commanders and captains. But I still felt, hell I FEEL like I should have saved them both. In the end, I killed them both.” 

With a soft sigh, B’Elanna moved out of her chair and took a few short steps to the other woman by the Engineering station. She wasn’t sure what to say. This was probably the most personal conversation the two had ever had. What could she offer up? Nothing the woman probably had not heard before. To her own surprise, and because she felt they both needed it, she reached out and wrapped her arms around the red-clad shoulders of her Captain. “I am sorry for your losses, Captain.” 

Kathryn choked out a sob, wrapping her arms around the waist of her chief engineer and dropping her forehead to B’Elanna’s shoulder. She shuddered slightly on an exhale. She swallowed and croaked out, “I’m sorry, we were talking about the Maquis. I didn’t mean to make this about me. I...I don’t know what came over me.” 

B’Elanna smiled a little, feeling the arms of her Captain wrap around her. It made her forget her troubles and stressors for just a second. This was a moment the half-Klingon had only ever dreamed about. “Hey… it’s okay. I asked who you lost. You didn’t have to tell me, if you didn’t want to.” She pointed out as she felt the woman pulling back. “Thank you for telling me though.”

Kathryn straightened up and finally, since her confession first began, gazed straight into B’Elanna’s eyes with a soft look and raised her right palm to cup B’Elanna’s warm cheek. “Thank you.” 

She noticed a pink blush on B’Elanna’s cheeks, so she dropped her right arm to her side. Clearing her throat, she slid her left arm further along B’Elanna’s back and turned alongside her until they were facing the cockpit. Then taking a step and gently pulling B’Elanna with her she softly said, “Well, how about we check on our position now?” She didn’t want to quash the newfound closeness between them, but emotionally she needed a break in the action.

B’Elanna had felt the warm hand on her cheek, surprised by the Captain’s rather intimate touch, staring into the blue eyes before her, as warmth passed through her entire body. As a half-Klingon, she was normally warmer than most humans. This was a different warmth. It was almost an electric current racing through her body. 

B’Elanna was left a little speechless. She wondered if there was more to the woman’s touch, but didn’t have time to question it as she was brought back to the reality of their away mission. She nodded, “Yes, let’s check our position. I think that’s a good idea.” She cleared her throat as she pushed down urges that were inappropriate to think and feel for her Commanding Officer. She took her seat at the helm and moved her hands over the console to check their status.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Fin
> 
> Thoughts? Comments welcome!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story isn't called Crash Landed for no reason....   
> Shuttle Accident. B'Elanna is severally hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres

“We are about thirty minutes from the planet. How are the sensor readings? Are you still picking up the gravimetric irregularities?” B’Elanna asked her Captain.

Janeway was seated at the copilot position punching up the sensors and her brow furrowed. “The sensors are picking up some dynamic gravimetric eddies in the upper atmosphere of the planet. I don’t see any indication of shearing, so it should be safe to proceed. The best location for the materials we need is near one of these eddies, but we should be able to navigate in under the turbulence before landing.”

B’Elanna gave a nod as she listened to the Captain. “Proceeding to the planet’s orbit,” she said as she piloted the shuttle toward the planet that was now visible in the viewport. Silence fell between the two officers as they focused on the task at hand. As the shuttle neared the orbit of the green and white planet, B’Elanna felt the shuttle shake due to the turbulence. “I am compensating for the turbulence.” 

“Good.” Janeway kept a close eye on the sensors. “We need to watch that eddy, it could spin up into gravimetric shear at a moment’s notice—they’re notoriously unpredictable.”

As soon as those words left Captain Janeway’s mouth, B’Elanna’s hands were flying over the console in an attempt to keep the shuttle steady and out of the path of an eddy that suddenly appeared in their path. B’Elanna was a fair pilot, but nowhere near Tom Paris’ ability. “Hang on, Captain.” She said, as she maneuvered the shuttle. The next eddy that appeared, B’Elanna was not so quick to maneuver around and it easily swept up the shuttle, knocking out navigational systems. “I’ve lost helm control…” The shuttle was in rapid descent to the planet’s surface.

“Transferring all residual power to shields and inertial dampeners! Releasing message buoy. Time to buckle up B’Elanna!”, said Janeway as she snapped in her own buckle.

B’Elanna moved to snap her buckles into place but before she completed the task, another eddy hit the shuttle out of nowhere. The engineer slammed into the console, her head bouncing off the panel awkwardly resulting in a loss of consciousness. The shock of the eddy caused the console to erupt, as the shuttle hit a high rocky prominence on its final descent, the streaming terrain filling the viewport. The impact caused the viewport to explode and shatter as their momentum ricocheted them down a ravine creating breaches in the outer hull of the shuttle. With the environmental air being expelled through the broken viewport, and the bumping of the shuttle down the rocky tundra, the half-Klingon was ejected from the shuttle. Her body bounced and fell to the ground, landing with a thud, unmoving after the shuttle made impact with the ground.

Janeway slowly came to consciousness. She realized that the shuttle had come to a rest at an incline, tilting forward. Her restraint had stayed buckled, keeping her from being tossed around like a rag doll, but she could feel the pressure on her chest. She likely had bruised ribs, but doubted they were broken, so she carefully reached with her left hand toward the buckle release. As she pressed the release, she extended her right hand forward and caught the weight of her falling body as her palm slammed into the console. “Aaahhh!” she screamed, as pain shot up her arm into her bruised torso. She took a deep breath and used both hands to brace herself against the console. 

“B’Elanna? B’Elanna, can you hear me?” Janeway looked around the cockpit and on the floor near the other stations. She reasoned at their angle of impact that B’Elanna must have been thrown forward through the open portal that once held the viewport. Carefully, she shifted her weight forward onto her hands and began crawling across the console dashboard toward the open portal. Thankfully, the shuttle didn’t seem to shift under her as she inched her way across sharp-angled debris and across the view screen frame. The nose of the shuttle was buried into the tundra, but there was enough space for her to crawl out of the shuttle and then, achingly, stand up straight. She noticed bleeding from small cuts and scrapes on her hands, and she wiped the smeared blood on her pant legs.

She immediately scanned the surrounding slope for any sign of B’Elanna or a Starfleet uniform. “B’Elanna! Can you hear me?”, she shouted. She saw from the damaged landscape that the shuttle had initially crashed on the highland, and thought she should look uphill for B’Elanna. She climbed upslope around some low-lying scrub brush, and her heart stopped when she spotted her chief engineer lying at an odd angle, with her face half-turned into the disturbed moss. “B’Elanna! Oh, B’Elanna! Please! Can you hear me?” Janeway scrambled to kneel at her side, gently turning her face upward and brushing dirt from her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--We welcome kudos and feedback!
> 
> The next several chapters will deal with some medical jargon and B'Elanna in pain.
> 
> We have majority of this story written so hit the subscribe button!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna is hurt and Kathryn is trying to save her crewmember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

B’Elanna wasn’t sure what pulled her from her unconscious state first, the blinding pain coursing through her body or the sense of movement. She whimpered as she found herself looking up into the very concerned eyes of her captain. “Captain…” She coughed painfully, a coppery taste on her tongue as blood trickled down her chin. B’Elanna’s left shoulder was dislocated, her left arm broken, her right knee and leg injured. “I think… several of my… ribs… are broken…” She said, finding it difficult to take a deep breath. She tried to keep her eyes focused on Kathryn, but was finding it difficult as her vision blurred. “The shuttle…” 

“Shhh, don’t worry about the shuttle.” Janeway tried to soothe her engineer, as she quickly shrugged off her uniform jacket and folded it into a pillow to raise B’Elanna’s head. “You look like you went a few rounds with a Nausicaan Scout.” Janeway carefully felt along B’Elanna’s limbs for broken bones. 

B’Elanna started to chuckle at the comment and instantly regretted it as she groaned, “Don’t make me laugh.” She mumbled.

“I’m going to need to get the medkit and its tricorder, so I can scan you for internal bleeding. Will you be alright, if I go do that?” She hated the thought of leaving her.

“Yes…” B’Elanna’s dark eyes didn’t move from the woman, quickly realizing she was at her mercy. There was no way she was moving without help. B’Elanna hated to appear weak and vulnerable. “I’m not going anywhere…” she assured her Captain. “Get what you need.”

“Ok, I’ll try to be fast. Probably the less you move the better. The good news is that you landed the shuttle in a stable spot, so it should be safe to go inside, once you adjust to the steep tilt of the decking.”

“I’ll try not to move, but… I’d like to point out… that the shuttle landed itself, Captain,” she asserted, staring at Kathryn.

Kathryn chuckled, her blue eyes lit with amusement, “Fair enough.” Then she stroked B’Elanna’s hair back from her forehead and smiled softly, “I’ll be right back.” She stood up, strode purposefully back to the nose of the shuttle and crouched to re-enter the crashed vehicle. 

She climbed upwards into the cockpit, past the other stations, and into the aft compartment making use of the liberally placed hand-holds that were designed just for this circumstance, or in case of gravity loss while in space. Thankfully, very few of the storage lockers had popped open on impact, and she easily found the medkit in its locker. She also grabbed a couple of blankets and a pop-up shelter kit. Turning toward the front of the shuttle she reversed her route until she reached the cockpit. She set-up Sacajawea’s homing signal in the hopes that it would penetrate the gravimetric eddies in the atmosphere. Finally she lowered herself through the open portal and climbed out.

Retracing her steps back to B’Elanna, she dropped her load nearby and kneeled again, pulling open the medkit. “How do you feel?”

B’Elanna had been fighting to stay awake and alert as she’d stared up at the sky. She had felt pain before, but it had been nothing to this level. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Kathryn left her side, and her eyes drifted shut. But her eyes snapped open at the sound of items being dropped nearby. “Oh, I’m ready for another round with that Nausicaan Scout.” She mumbled, licking her lips, tasting blood. She was quiet a second before she offered up an honest answer about how she really felt. “Everything hurts, Captain.”

Janeway’s eyes filled with concern and she immediately gave B’Elanna a hypospray shot of analgesic and anti-inflammatory in her neck. “That should take the edge off for now.” Meanwhile Kathryn scanned her engineer with the medical tricorder. She released a breath that hadn’t realized she was holding in. 

“The good news is that it looks like there has not been any mass injuries within your abdominal cavity. No crush injuries or bleeders in your lower organs. The bad news is that you do have several broken ribs as you suspected, which in itself isn’t a big issue, but it appears one of those broken ribs is pressing into one of your lungs, and has possibly punctured it. That would explain the blood that you coughed up earlier. After I fix you up a bit, I’m going to need to prop you up to keep you from drowning. You’ve also got a nasty concussion, but the anti-inflammatory that I just gave you should reduce the risk of cranial swelling. I guess you’re not as hard-headed as we thought,” she said with a wink.

B’Elanna lay still as Kathryn began to scan her battered body with the medical tricorder. Feeling the hypospray against her neck, hearing its familiar hiss in her ear, B’Elanna exhaled slowly, doing her best to ignore the pain in her ribs. “Thank you, feeling better already….” She said quietly. She listened to her injuries and nodded slowly, relieved there were no internal injuries since she wasn’t sure when Voyager would be able to rescue them. She was already wincing in pain at the thought of moving. 

Kathryn fastened a immobilizer sleeve around the break in B’Elanna’s left arm, and pulled out the field-grade dermal regenerator, setting to work on her more minor injuries. The hairline cracks in a couple bones could be partially healed with the shallow penetration of the dermal regenerator. She would have to ask the Doctor why the stronger tissue regenerators were not standard issue in the medkits, given how many times Voyager’s away missions went awry.

With the hypospray already working its sweet magic on her pained body, B’Elanna was fighting to stay awake as she heard the familiar low hum of the dermal regenerator. She was used to the sound, having treated her own injuries from her holodeck misadventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, second update in one day!
> 
> Chapter six will be posted soon.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna's still hurt... Kathryn has to help her... there's a little distraction talk and some touching..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

“Can we talk about something, Captain… anything…?”

“Alright, let’s see. How shall we distract you? Would you like to tell me which minerals you think we can extract from this planet?” At B’Elanna’s skeptical look, Janeway said, “Well I’m pretty sure you’re not going to want to talk about Tom at the moment.” Janeway focused her attention on healing the injuries in B’Elanna’s right leg as well as she could. She was becoming worried how B’Elanna seemed to be struggling to stay alert.

B’Elanna’s brow furrowed a little as she tried to think about the minerals they were trying to mine for the ship. Her head hurt a great deal, she was having a hard time focusing. “We need…” She searched her mind. It took her a second before she focused on the Tom remark. “I don’t know what you want to know about Tom…” She paused to take a deep breath, wincing, feeling a pain shoot through her side. “We weren’t good together… it would not have worked out between us… I didn’t love him.” 

“I’m sorry B’Elanna, I guess I shouldn’t have brought up such a painful topic. It’s just that…” Janeway pulled out the medical tricorder, partly to distract herself from what she wanted to say next, and began to scan B’Elanna again. “...I’ve come to care about you a great deal, and I want you to be happy, wherever you may find it.” She didn’t exactly want to encourage B’Elanna to go back to Tom, but what could she do about it? How could she provide for B’Elanna’s happiness? Already things had gotten so complicated with Chakotay, she didn’t know if she had it in her, to open her heart to someone else she could never be free to fully love while they were in the Delta Quadrant. The tricorder beeped.

B’Elanna shrugged at the apology, unsure why the Captain was apologizing to her. She processed her words about her happiness and wished she could be open about who would really make her happy. B’Elanna couldn’t bring herself to share that, yet. “It’s okay. It’s not difficult to talk about.” She said quietly. She felt her heart rate quicken hearing that Kathryn cared about her. Similar to the touch in the shuttle, she wondered if there was more to what Kathryn was saying. She felt another cough coming on and couldn’t stop it, groaning as a couple of her ribs moved and pressed into her lungs. “Kahless, that… hurts...” She groaned with a gasp for air as blood trickled down her chin again.

Janeway tried to stifle her worry for the woman in front of her. She grabbed a cotton pad to wipe off the blood and reached up to stroke the half-Klingon’s dark tresses away from her face. “Well I’m glad that I scanned you again. Now that the shock and inflammation is starting to recede, I can see that your third lung is also punctured from a broken posterior rib on your back side. I’m guessing that you didn’t bounce well enough when you were thrown clear landing on your back. Not that this new information does us a lot of good, since both punctured lungs will require surgery by the Doctor.” She looked down apologetically at B’Elanna, “but I can at least give you another shot for the pain.” She turned the dial on the hypospray, “And some tri-ox to compensate for the low oxygen readings I’m getting, likely from your difficulty in breathing.”

B’Elanna felt her head leaning into the touch, trying to stay focused on Kathryn’s words, realizing her condition was a bit worse. She wanted to curse her Klingon DNA, but knew it was probably keeping her alive. “Bounce? I don’t think I bounced at all, or maybe I did, judging by my injuries.” She mumbled, shaking her head at the pain medication. “Nothing for the pain. I am already finding it hard to stay awake. I can handle it for a little while longer.” B’Elanna said. “I will tell you when I can’t handle the pain, I promise.”

“Well, the tri-ox will help with your fatigue and disorientation,” she assured as she pressed the hypospray to her neck. “And I can try aspirating the thoracic air pocket that is pressing on your broken rib and threatens to collapse your lung.” Kathryn wished she could take away the pain that B’Elanna must be experiencing with every breath. “Maybe I can find some other way to distract you, other than conversation?” Kathryn knew that physical touch generated endorphins, which are natural painkillers. She gently placed her hands on B’Elanna’s shoulders and slowly stroked down the length of her arms, being careful on her left side. She reached B’Elanna’s wrists and the edge of her sleeve. As her fingers trailed onto the backs of her engineer's hands, a shock of electricity seemed to bypass her heart and settled low in her belly. Her fingers curled around the outside edge of B’Elanna’s palms and she held both of her hands gently within her own.

B’Elanna felt the hypospray press into her neck and felt her head clear a bit as the additional oxygen kicked in quickly. She stared at Kathryn, not responding right away to her question of conversation. B’Elanna was painfully aware of how close Kathryn was to her just by the way her body reacted. The feather light touches caused the engineer to grow a bit more on alert. “Kathryn…” The name felt foreign on her tongue. She had never called her captain by her first name, at least not out loud and to the woman’s beautiful face. “What are you doing?” She questioned as her hands closed around Kathryn’s.

Feeling mesmerized, Kathryn had started to lean forward, gazing at B’Elanna’s full lips, idly wondering how they would feel against hers, but B’Elanna’s question brought her up short. “I...I hate to see you in pain, and I wanted... I needed to make you feel better.” But now the question was beginning to penetrate her idle imagination. ‘What AM I doing? I’ve got a job to do! I’ve got an injured crew member and I need to boost the homing signal to Voyager!’ She felt ashamed that she had allowed her thoughts about B’Elanna to wander, nearly shirking her duty to rescue the very same woman. “I’ve got to go check on the homing signal”, she blurted out as she quickly rose and turned toward the shuttle.

B’Elanna watched the way Kathryn nearly leaned in close to her. The engineer was enlivened by Kathryn’s touches. ‘I know I am hurt, but I must be imagining this… the touch in the shuttle, sure I hugged her first, but did she just try to kiss me?’ B’Elanna’s thoughts were jumbled together. The half-Klingon was startled by how fast Kathryn had jumped up. She inhaled sharply, instant regret spreading across her features as a coughing fit took hold of her small frame. Blood splattered out of her mouth as pain shot through her entire body. She gasped as she used all of her strength to roll on her right side, avoiding the left side of her body. She spit out the blood and focused on trying to keep her breathing calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Things are getting more angsty and tense, right?
> 
> Next chapter will have a little 'science' moment with our two ladies!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little science talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

With her Captain gone trying to make contact with Voyager, B’Elanna was finding it hard to stay awake once more. A lavender scent filled her senses as her eyes closed briefly. She lifted her head just enough to see her Captain’s jacket. She vaguely remembered Kathryn placing the jacket underneath her head. Closing her eyes once more, her face turned slightly into the jacket, B’Elanna tried to focus on something other than the pain and fear. She wondered if lavender was Kathryn’s favorite scent. She wondered what else the Intrepid Captain liked. She knew she loved her coffee. ‘I bet she tastes like coffee….’

Kathryn was furious with herself. ‘I can NOT get involved! I can’t afford to make any mistakes, when it could mean the loss of someone’s life!’ Kathryn realized she was standing beside another crashed shuttle, just like that one so many years ago, trying to save the life of someone dear to her. The abiding emotional pain of that loss was the reason why she always fought like hell to protect the lives of her crew, to save other families from experiencing losses like hers. Her heart rate rose as that ancient trauma creeped up behind her in the back of her mind. She could almost feel herself starting to hyperventilate like she used to, so she quickly shut that down, and practiced the Vulcan meditative breathing that Tuvok had taught her. She slowed her breath, ensuring that she exhaled deeply, paused for two counts, then inhaled deeply and paused again for another two counts. 

This technique allowed her analytical nature to come back to the fore, so she could address her problems with logic. The homing signal was still sending, but she needed to think about how to boost it so that it penetrated through those pesky gravimetric eddies. Actually, it occurred to her, she should be brainstorming with B’Elanna about the issue. They always worked best together when their sizable intellects were bent toward an engineering puzzle. It seemed that maybe she could distract B’Elanna with conversation. Kathryn turned uphill toward B’Elanna.

The half-Klingon felt another cough coming on as she tried to suppress it. Coughing was leading to coughing up blood. ‘There was simply no way to hide a worsening condition with a pool of blood beside your head,’ the engineer thought. The longer Kathryn was taking, the more anxious she was becoming. She spotted her Captain climbing up towards her, and felt relief flood her. “The…. signal…” her voice coming out in a wheeze.

As Kathryn came around the scrub brush, she saw that B’Elanna had turned on her side, facing toward her as she approached. She started to give her engineer an encouraging smile, but her face fell when she spotted the splatter of blood on B’Elanna’s jacket and the collection of blood on the ground in front of her. 

“B’Elanna!” Her heart might have stopped beating, but she definitely felt her knees weaken and she dropped down next to her, her hands clutching at B’Elanna’s uniform. It appeared the lung punctures were worse than she originally thought. She cursed herself for not being more intimately knowledgeable in Klingon physiology. She knew the basics,  
but she should be ready to save any member of her crew, no matter their species. And now her dear B’Elanna was endangered.

B’Elanna was not blind, she saw the emotion in Kathryn's features. Her Captain was frazzled with worry and fear. She would not have recognized it if she wasn’t so focused on the woman currently gripping her uniform. “I.. am… okay.” She said, trying to ease her Captain. “Don’t count me out just yet. Klingons are stubborn.” She looked at her Kathryn. 

“The signal, Captain. What’s the status?” 

Kathryn gently smiled at B’Elanna’s self-depreciation, thinking her engineer was likely trying to make her feel better about their dire situation. “The homing signal is still running, but I need your help to brainstorm on a way to boost the signal enough to make it through the gravimetric eddies and piggyback off the message buoy that I dropped before we crashed. Voyager will come looking for us eventually, but I’d rather it be sooner than later.” She pushed a few stray hairs behind B’Elanna’s left ear. 

“Ironically, if we’d laid dibs on taking the Delta Flyer, we might have made it through those eddies, with its advanced shielding. Chakotay convinced me that as Second Pilot, Baytart needed to get familiar with that funky control interface that Tom designed for the Flyer, so I let him take it for Neelix’s food-gathering mission. Ah well, hindsight is 20/20 as they say. The flip side is that the Flyer is our best chance for a rescue and repair crew.” She rubbed her forehead. “Anyway, can you help me with the signal boost?”

B’Elanna listened to what Kathryn needed to do with the homing signal. She was sure Kathryn was capable of boosting the signal, but could read the plea for help as a distraction. “It’s not the time to debate which shuttle we should have taken.” B’Elanna pointed out as she removed her combadge. “We may be able to boost the signal utilizing our badges, if we adjust the resonance frequency of the badge to match the homing signal. It may be enough to boost it.” She looked toward the medkit, unsure if any of the tools would allow them to do what they needed. She averted her eyes back to Kathryn, “My engineering kit is on the shuttle.”

As B’Elanna had been speaking, Kathryn had opened up the medkit again, and extracted a few medical tools. “Okay, I see where you’re going with this. We could use a bridging wire tool to reprogram the badges. But I’m also deeply concerned that we are nearing the point where I’m going to need to aspirate those thoracic bubbles that are pressing your broken ribs into your lungs. I’ll tell you what: I’ll give you my combadge so you can get started exposing the parts that we need to reprogram, and I’ll go get your engineering kit. Then once we’ve boosted the signal, I’m going to have to poke you with a very big needle.” Kathryn grimaced at the thought. “I think you should be okay turned on your side while I’m gone. How do you feel—still hanging in there?”

B’Elanna listened to Kathryn as her thoughts jumped from boosting the homing signal to getting poked with a needle. B’Elanna’s visually paled as she stared at her Captain, trying to process what she should respond to first. She was not excited about a giant needle being injected into any part of her body. “I’m still hanging in there-- give me your badge and go get my kit.” She said, letting her hand fall, palm side up, to Kathryn’s thigh. She gave Kathryn a look of confidence and a sure nod she was going to be okay. 

Kathryn clipped off her badge and placed it in B’Elanna’s capable hands, feeling a spark where her fingers touched the palm of her engineer. She responded with her own nod, placed her hands on her thighs and pressed into a standing position. Half-turned away she glanced back at her engineer and softly assured her, “I’ll be right back.”

This time walking away from B’Elanna toward the shuttle, the Starfleet officer felt better, more in control of her emotions and her decision-making processes. As she wound her way down to the shuttle, she thought back to B’Elanna’s soft but strong hands that she had held so briefly and tenderly. She was determined to steer clear of feeling overwhelmed but she recalled how it felt to hear her name come from B’Elanna’s sweet mouth. She was so tired of being “the Captain” 24/7 on Voyager and nothing else. It felt nice to be just a person, just a woman, just Kathryn.

She grabbed B’Elanna’s kit from the engineering storage locker, looked around trying to think if she needed anything else while she was here. “Ah”, she raised a finger and climbed up to the aft compartment, where she extracted one of the half-body support boards, then turned to go back to B’Elanna.

B’Elanna’s dark eyes had watched Kathryn climb down towards the shuttle. She let out a shaky breath as a wave of pain moved through her battered body. She needed to keep her Captain’s mind occupied just as much her own. She looked at the badge in her hand, her fist closing around it momentarily as she reached for the medkit. B’Elanna was mindful of her dislocated left shoulder as she reached for a medical tool that would allow her to expose the inner wiring of the Starfleet combadge. She had the device in two pieces in a jiffy, examining the wires. 

As Kathryn walked up, she saw with relief that B’Elanna was still conscious and working on the combadges. She gently plunked B’Elanna’s trusty engineering kit next to her. “Have your way with it”, she grinned, before she realized how flirtatious that might have sounded. She schooled her features and shook her head, before propping the body board against a nearby boulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates today. Two to come tomorrow.  
> Things are getting a little more intense each chapter. Feelings are developing!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn talks B’Elanna through the medical procedure while saving her favorite bra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

B’Elanna smirked softly at Kathryn’s comment as she accepted her engineering kit. “Gladly, Captain.” She replied back as she opened the kit. B’Elanna was a little slower with her movements as she reached for the bridging tool and began to bridge the wires, staring intently at the exposed combadge. She switched tools, working to boost the signal and change the frequency. B’Elanna was focused on her task at hand, finding that it was keeping her alert. It was a few minutes before the engineer spoke up, “The homing signal is boosted...” She informed her captain, holding the combadge, now back in one piece. She felt another urge to cough. She tried to contain it, but failed as she coughed up more blood. The amount of blood coming out of her mouth was growing. The half-Klingon heard the fear in her own voice, “Kathryn…” 

“Oh no. B’Elanna!” With her right hand, Kathryn grabbed the combadge that the engineer had just finished adjusting, before the device could slip from her grasp, and quickly clipped it back on her chest. At the same time, her left hand supported B’Elanna’s cheek, holding her head up as more blood spewed forth and splattered onto the ground in front of her face. “I’ve got to get some pressure off those ribs. Are you ready for me to aspirate? Do you think the cough has calmed down enough for a bit?” Kathryn’s heart thumped frantically, and she told herself she needed to save her crewman. Only her crewman.

B’Elanna felt herself involuntarily nuzzle into the hand on her warm cheek, as if a single touch would make everything feel better. Or, maybe she just hoped that Kathryn’s touch would do so. She was terrified, and she could practically hear the Klingon voice of her mother telling her to ‘toughen up.’ “Have… have you ever done this…?” She blurted out. “Not to question your abilities, Kathryn, but…” she trailed off growing aware she had referred to the woman by her first name multiple times. She didn’t have time to think if that was acceptable or not. “I am a little scared..” 

“Have I done this before?” Kathryn paused, “Yes...and no.” She raised her eyes and reflected. “In command school, we get additional training in field medicine, enough to be certified as a field medic at that time. I have conducted this procedure under similar circumstances, where broken ribs are puncturing a lung which allows the air in the lungs to escape into the thoracic cavity, trying to escape outward rather than upward through the trachea. The resulting air bubble has nowhere to go and any movement of the torso will cause inward pressure on the broken rib penetrating the lung. Thus, it becomes a vicious cycle. The recommended treatment calls for aspiration and immobilization.” 

Kathryn hoped that her rote recitation would reassure the woman in front of her. “In those drills, the holographic patient lived.” She allowed her tilted smirk to rise on her face, as she began to prep medkit instruments that she would need. “I want to be honest with you that I’ve never performed this procedure on a Klingon—or half-Klingon,” she paused, “but the principles are the same: locate the bubble, insert between the rib spacing, and don’t hit any major arteries.” Kathryn cast a weak smile in B’Elanna’s direction.

B’Elanna listened to Kathryn tell her about the drills in command school, trying to find comfort in the fact that the Starfleet Captain was at least trained how to do the procedure. “Your holographic patient lived. That’s comforting.” She mumbled as another cough took hold of her small frame. She spit the blood out, growing uneasy with how much blood she was spitting out. “What do you need me to do?” she asked, trying to prepare herself. She was quiet for a second as she tried to process the imminent procedure. She could tell Kathryn was nervous. She reached out and took the woman’s hand in her own, “I trust you, Kathryn.”

Kathryn gulped and looked at B’Elanna with gratitude for approaching this procedure with a fair amount of grace. “Well, as I said the air wants to move upward, so we make use of that by laying you flat on that body board,” pointing with her other hand to the board leaning against the boulder, “and creating the shortest route for its escape.” She looked down at their joined hands, then gave a gentle squeeze and a smile, before releasing B’Elanna’s hand and stepping over to retrieve the board. She assessed the location where B’Elanna lay. 

“This spot isn’t perfectly level, but it’ll do well enough. I don’t want you to have to move very much.” She took a deep breath. “Alright, since you’re already on your side, I propose wedging the board in behind you, so you can roll back onto it. Then we’ll have to scoot you over a bit to get you firmly situated on the board. That part will probably hurt, so I’d like to give you an analgesic beforehand. Sounds like a plan?”

As B’Elanna heard Kathryn’s footsteps move away from her, she chose not to move from the position she lay in. She wasn’t eager to feel the pain of turning onto her back. She looked up at Kathryn and nodded, “Sounds like a plan. Do it.” she said, trying to muster up as much confidence as possible. “Can you help me get my jacket off? With my arm and shoulder, I can’t do it by myself.”

“This jacket is ruined. It’s going to have to be recycled anyways. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to save you the pain and simply cut it off.” Kathryn reached for the utility scissors from the medkit. 

B’Elanna glanced at the torn jacket and was relieved Kathryn would cut it off, “Yes, I appreciate that… as little pain as possible.” 

While B’Elanna still lay on her side, Kathryn kneeled behind her and gently parted the dark curly locks at the nape of her neck. She slid her fingers down the back of B’Elanna’s neck, inserting her fingers between the jacket and the gray turtleneck. 

B’Elanna couldn’t see Kathryn once the woman moved behind her. She focused on keeping her breathing even and calm. Feeling the gentle touch to her hair and the back of her neck, a shiver passed through her entire body. ‘Kahless, B’Elanna, control yourself.’ B’Elanna chastised herself.

Kathryn felt a slight shiver run through the other woman. She paused briefly, trying not to think what that shiver meant if anything, and pulled the jacket away from B’Elanna’s body as she easily cut through the stiff fabric with the utility scissors until the back of her jacket parted in two. Next she carefully released the mechanism on the immobilizer protecting B’Elanna’s broken humerus bone, and slid the utility scissors into the neckline of the shoulder. Again, she easily cut the stiff fabric, being extremely careful to not let the tip of the scissors touch the body of the woman in front of her. When she reached the wrist of the jacket, she let out a breath as it came free and Kathryn pulled the fabric clear. She slid the immobilizer back on and activated its locking mechanism. Kathryn took a deep breath, “How is that now?”

“Better.” B’Elanna replied, having expected to feel more jostled with the removal of her jacket. She was aware of how delicate and attentive Kathryn’s movements were. They were slow, caring and cautious but confident so as to keep her from experiencing anymore pain. Having closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing to keep herself relaxed, B’Elanna licked her lips, fighting another coughing fit. “What’s… next?” B’Elanna forced out the words, blood gurgling in her throat, spitting it on the ground.

“Well, it occurs to me that since one of your posterior ribs is broken and impinging on your third lung, that you are in prime position now for me to check for a bubble in the cavity, and aspirate if necessary. If I do that first, you should be a good deal more comfortable when we need to turn you on your back to aspirate your front cavity. Kathryn realized she may need access to B’Elanna’s bare back. She paused and surreptitiously stroked down B’Elanna’s back, feeling for the telltale line of elastic across her mid back underneath her turtleneck. “I’m not going to cut your bra strap, because I know how hard it is to get the perfect fit for our individual bodies,” she let out an unamused huff, “but do I have your permission to unclasp your bra strap?”

B’Elanna didn’t offer an objection to the process of what was to happen next. She felt the touch against her back followed by the question of unclasping her bra. “Yes, do what you need, Kathryn.” She whispered. “I am okay.” She assured her, licking her lips again before speaking up, “Thank you for not ruining my favorite bra. I appreciate it.” The half-Klingon was becoming aware of what unclasping her bra meant. It meant revealing a non-Starfleet issued piece of clothing to a woman she had strong desires for. B’Elanna felt a warmth pass up her neck. In her dreams, this was not how she pictured Kathryn Janeway seeing her black laced bra.

“Okay, I promise to be gentle.” Kathryn could not believe she’d just said that. What was she thinking?? She resumed her Vulcan meditative breathing, compelling herself to focus on the logical steps of the task at hand. She untucked the turtleneck from the waistband of B’Elanna’s uniform pants and slid her hands underneath the turtleneck, making contact with warm smooth skin. This time she couldn’t be sure which woman shivered at the point of contact. She sighed deeply and moved her hands up under the turtleneck to unclasp the bra strap, pulling the loose ends to each side and tucking them toward her waist. 

B’Elanna felt another shiver pass over her the moment Kathryn’s hands touched her flesh. The touch was so feather light that B’Elanna swore she almost missed it. She didn’t miss the way her body seemed to hum though, even in an injured state, she felt suppressed feelings surfacing. A small level of vulnerability crept up the half-Klingon’s neck and cheek as her bra strap was undone. Thinking about the woman currently touching her in an intimate capacity was distracting her thoughts from the pain and current situation she was in. ‘I wonder if her touch is always so gentle…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have a small trigger warning and some medical jargon. Our Captain has to help her Chief Engineer


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn has to perform a procedure to take care of B’Elanna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medical jargon ahead. Possible Trigger: Large Needle being injected into flesh
> 
> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

Leaving the turtleneck in position, Kathryn began to systematically palpate the flesh across B’Elanna’s back, feeling for unusual lumps or bulges. She felt a large 10-centimeter-across bulge on the left side. ‘Damn. She must have fallen hard on her left shoulder, breaking her ribs and arm at the same time.’ The bulge wasn’t distended very far, only a centimeter or two, but she didn’t want to press on it to verify it was an air mass. That would likely hurt like any angry targ. She felt confident that she had correctly identified a thoracic bubble. She withdrew her hands and smoothed the turtleneck down over B’Elanna’s back, so she could stay covered for a few more minutes. “Okay, I found a bubble, I’m going to get the aspiration instruments from the medkit laid out. You okay?”

B’Elanna’s distracted thoughts were brought back to the present as she felt the pressure of the touches on her left side as Kathryn found a thoracic bubble. It caused her to inhale sharply, another lump of blood rising in her throat. She knew what Kathryn was searching for, but she wasn’t ready to hear that she had actually found one. “I am… okay...” She wheezed between coughs.

Kathryn laid out a sterile pad with antiseptic, local analgesic, the instruments, cotton swabs, and the dermal regenerator. She sighed and lifted her right hand to stroke the hair back from B’Elanna’s face, tucking it behind her ear. “Okay, here we go. I know you refused pain relief earlier, but I’m applying a local analgesic to the injection site. Otherwise it’s going to feel a lot like a stab wound, and I want you to lie still. Alright?”

B’Elanna was drawn back to the touch as she looked at Kathryn from the corner of her eye. “Alright…” She couldn’t offer up much else to say. “Just do it, Kathryn. Please… hurry….” The waiting was making her anxious. She reached for something to grip on with her good hand and ended up pulling her Captain’s uniform jacket tight to her face as she braced herself. She had a feeling she was going to feel this regardless of the analgesic or not.

“Right.” Kathryn gave a confident nod, mostly to herself. She slid her hands under the turtleneck again, using the backs of her knuckles to lift and push it up B’Elanna’s back, exposing warm mocha skin. Her fingers led the way. Kathryn’s breath hitched a little at the sight of the expanse of soft skin, but she was determined to treat the injury and do it quickly. She planned to pierce the bubble on its left side, so that the air could escape upward, since B’Elanna was laying on her right side. She selected the hypospray and pressed it in the area of the planned injection. Kathryn quickly rubbed the spot to soften its sting. 

B’Elanna heard the hiss of the hypospray. She was beginning to wish she had a view of what Kathryn was doing. Then again, knowing a needle was about to be injected into her back, she retracted that thought from her mind. She was trying to think of all the things she needed to do when she returned to Voyager, but her mind kept drifting back to the procedure taking place.

Next Kathryn picked up the aspiration instrument with the large needle secured in place. She felt along B’Elanna’s side to identify the location of the rib spacings and placed her left index finger in the groove between two ribs. Lightly tracing that groove down just past the edge of the bubble, she eyed a spot and placed the tip of the needle in position. Holding the tip steady with her left hand she angled the needle until it was nearly vertical, broke the skin and pressed it vertically downward about a centimeter until she heard the characteristic hiss of air escaping into the transparent chamber attached to the needle. 

“Okay, this next part might be rough.” She switched hands on the device and placed her right palm against the lower edge of the thoracic bubble and rolled her palm upward across the bubble, pressing the air upward to escape through the needle. 

B’Elanna’s breathing hitched in her throat, a whimper forming low in her chest at the pressure. Kathryn winced when she heard a gasp from her engineer, but continued until blood started to bubble into the chamber. She quickly pressed the switch to apply suction, pulling more blood into the chamber until it seemed to stop filling. She switched off the suction, grabbed a cotton swab placing it tightly to where the needle entered B’Elanna’s back. 

B’Elanna couldn’t hold back the strangled cry of pain, her face buried tight against Kathryn’s jacket, trying to focus on the lavender scent ingrained into the thick Starfleet material. Her vision seemed to swim for a moment before she fell unconscious. Kathryn quickly withdrew the needle, next grabbing the dermal generator and running the device over the skin to heal the injection site.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some medical stuff but delirious conversations are coming!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B’Elanna makes delirious conversation with Kathryn. Part 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)
> 
> \--------------------------------  
> Another chapter! We know chapter 9 was intense so here's a light one with some delirious talk.

B’Elanna wasn’t sure what brought her back to consciousness, but her eyes flew open as a flash of blinding pain rushed through her. The pain medication from earlier had worn off as a fever settled over the half-Klingon’s body, leaving her usually mocha skin glistening with sweat. ‘The shuttle accident wasn’t a dream,’ B’Elanna thought as she managed to collect her surroundings. She started to move, but found it difficult. She glanced down to see she was strapped to the body board from the shuttle. She immediately felt the urge to fight the hold, but the pain that shot through her stilled her movements. 

“Kathryn…” She called out, wondering where the Intrepid Captain was, her dark eyes searching for her. 

“B’Elanna, I’m here.” Kathryn scooted around into her line of sight, PADD in hand where she had been taking notes about the crash. She touched B’Elanna’s hand to reassure her of her presence. “How do you feel?”

B’Elanna’s weary dark eyes locked with Kathryn’s, “There you are.” She mumbled. “I.. I don’t know. Everything hurts. I guess I know that. Has Voyager contacted us?” The engineer rambled.

“Can I please give you an analgesic finally?” Kathryn pleaded.

B’Elanna hummed, “Mm, you can give me whatever you want.” 

“Wha… uh…,” Kathryn blushed at the innuendo implied by the words. She reached for the hypospray, dialed the correct dosage, and pressed it to B’Elanna’s neck. She quickly stroked over the same spot to soothe the sting again. “Better?” she said softly.

B’Elanna echoed the hiss of the hypospray, “Mmm.” She closed her eyes as the medicine quickly went to work. Her dark eyes opened, staring at Kathryn with an intense stare, “What about Voyager…”

Kathryn was struck by B’Elanna’s concern for her ship, the starship that had become their home. “When you were unconscious, I checked the integrity of our homing signal: it’s still sending. And I routed any incoming messages through our combadges.” Kathryn looked apologetically at B'Elanna. “No messages yet.”

B’Elanna eyes were growing heavy, but she forced them to remain open. “They’ll come… for us…” She mused. 

Kathryn lightly touched B’Elanna’s cheek. “How are you doing since we took the pressure off your third lung? Your breathing seems easier.”

B’Elanna heard the question but her attention had focused on the hand pressed against her sweaty cheek. “You smell good... “ She mused. Even though they had been surrounded by the scents of the planet for hours now, B’Elanna’s sense of smell was heightened due to her Klingon physiology. “Lavender… I wasn’t expecting you to smell like lavender…” 

Kathryn raised an eyebrow in amusement. “You must be a little delirious,” she snickered. “I didn’t think I gave you that high of a dose.” She paused, then continued in a lower voice, “Well, if you must know, my favorite bath salts are lavender scented, and I love a good soak in a deep bathtub.”

“Mmm… good to know. Sounds relaxing. You deserve to relax.” B’Elanna mumbled. Her eyes closing, falling quiet as a tremble passes through her.

Kathryn was touched by B’Elanna’s concern for her wellbeing. ‘And here I am trying to take care of her! Aren’t we a pair?’ She was still quite worried about stabilizing B’Elanna’s condition. “You may have noticed that I strapped you to the body board, so that we can minimize that amount of movement in your broken ribs.”

B’Elanna opened her eyes to look at Kathryn again, “I did notice…” She said quietly.

“I didn’t want you to wake up feeling trapped, but it couldn’t be helped. I’m sorry if you did.” Kathryn sighed, then smirked with an eyebrow raised. “Besides, it occurred to me that maybe you appreciate restraints.” ‘Lordy, I’m getting bold!’ 

B’Elanna managed to shrug her uninjured shoulder, paying no mind to the apology offered. “Mmhmm, it depends….” B’Elanna mused softly, “depends on who I am with… if I feel comfortable with them…” 

Kathryn was used to taking charge in just about any relationship in her life. “And do you feel comfortable with me, B’Elanna?” 

A low and long hum vibrated deep in B’Elanna’s throat, “I do… very comfortable… ”

“Because when we return to the ship, and the Doctor fixes you right up, I want to spend more time with you. I want to strengthen our friendship.”

“I… would like that too,” The injured engineer whispered before growing eerily quiet, staring at Kathryn, “If I make it back to the ship….” She whispered. 

A look of anger flashed across Janeway’s face. “No, B’Elanna! Don’t even say that. I wouldn’t be able to run that ship without you. I need you! Desperately.” Kathryn clutched at B’Elanna’s right arm, remembering to steer clear of her left arm. She tried to hold B’Elanna’s soft dark eyes with her own. “I will make sure you make it back home with me.” These last words came out even more gravelly than the usual timbre of the captain's famous alto voice.

B’Elanna’s delirious mind tried to decipher the meaning of Kathryn’s words, if there was more to them. Her heart and mind started an internal battle. Her mind told her there wasn’t, but her heart was hopeful there was more to them. “You.. need me to fix, not run, your ship… now how… do we… fix me…?” 

Kathryn wasn’t about to quibble about semantics, she was just glad that B’Elanna’s attention had been diverted to problem-solving. “Well, how is your breathing? Does it still feel painful to draw a breath?” Kathryn pulled out the medical tricorder to get an updated scan of her patient.

“I am… breathing…” B’Elanna took in a shallow breath. “It hurts… but I am breathing…”

Kathryn nodded. “I still haven’t fixed that other puncture yet. But you’re not coughing up blood for now. I have suspected that you landed hard on your upper left side, causing three major injuries, and it was likely the worst of the two punctures.”

B’Elanna shook her head as her eyes grew heavy again. “I’m tired…. it’s hot… why’s it so hot...” She mumbled. Normally heat wasn’t a problem for the half-Klingon. She’d rather be in warm weather than cold, but this was an annoying heat.

“Hmm. The tricorder indicates that your body temperature is elevated above your normal baseline. You could have an infection lurking among your injuries.” Kathryn paused. “The anterior thoracic bubble might be getting infected. Or you could be getting a chill from laying still on the ground in this climate, and your body might be trying to compensate. I’ll get you one of the blankets and get you situated, before I look at doing the other aspiration.”

B’Elanna wasn’t listening to the medical babble coming out of Kathryn’s mouth. “Sounds… complicated.. ”

Kathryn rose and stepped to where she had dropped the sheltering supplies, then stopped, looking down at the supplies. “Actually, I’ve been so focused on trying to stabilize the bleeding into your third lung that I hadn’t set up the shelter yet.”

“Then…. you should do that, Captain, that’s… an order… shelter...” B’Elanna slurred out in reference to the shelter. At this point, B’Elanna was picking and choosing what she felt important enough to respond to while fighting her body’s urge to sleep. “Mm… sleepy…” 

Kathryn smirked at her engineer giving her an order. “Aye, aye...Chief.” She opened the kit for the pop-up shelter and assessed the lay of the land around B’Elanna. She placed the kit where she wanted one corner of the shelter to be and punched in the dimensions, setting it for a high arch over B’Elanna, since there were minimal winds at the moment and it would give her room to maneuver around her patient.

While the pop-up mechanism worked, Kathryn got the blankets, shook one out and folded it in half lengthwise. Going over to B’Elanna, she saw that the other woman was drifting in and out of sleep, and thought that it was probably for the best that her body rested from the trauma imposed upon it. Kathryn set to her task of arranging the blankets under and over her patient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will have more delirious talk!  
> B'Elanna reveals her feelings. ;)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Delusional B’Elanna. She is talking to Tom, but is she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

It was hours later before B’Elanna woke up again with a groan. The infection and fever had set in. She attempted to move again but found herself still restrained. This time she began to freak out, whimpering as she struggled against the restraints. 

Kathryn immediately went to her side. “Shh, B’Elanna, I’m here with you. Didn’t I tell you I was going to take care of you? I’m your field medic now, so I’ve released the pressure on the other lung puncture, but I haven’t managed to eliminate the infection. I don’t have access to the selection of antibiotics that the Doc has, back in sickbay.”

B’Elanna’s wide eyes tried to focus her blurry vision on the shadowy person at her side. B’Elanna shivered underneath the blanket, her body coated in a layer of sweat. She couldn’t really focus on what was being said but hummed softly, “Tom… where are we?” She asked in a low voice. 

Kathryn reached for a cloth and wiped the sheen from her patient’s forehead. ‘Rats. Her delirium has gotten worse.’ “Shh, we’re on the planet after we crashed, remember? You should keep resting, don’t worry about anything. I’ve got you.”

B’Elanna whimpered low, staring up at the person, “Oh.” She mumbled quietly. “I… am sorry, Tom…

Kathryn recognized that B’Elanna was facing the emotional processing of her breakup from Tom. And whether or not she remembered this after she came out of her delirium, Kathryn thought that letting some of that processing out had to be good for the woman’s psyche. Maybe it would lift a load from the engineer's shoulders. She placed a palm on B’Elanna’s cheek, wanting to comfort her through this, as she wiped her forehead again.

B’Elanna’s head tilted more into the palm on her cheek, “I know you love me… I am sorry… I couldn’t love you back… not in the way you want.”

Something in B’Elanna’s voice sparked a curiosity in Kathryn's inquisitive mind. B’Elanna’s comments reminded her of some of the things she had said to Chakotay, when she had felt bound by her responsibilities to her ship and her crew. “Why not, B’Elanna? Why can’t you love fully and freely? What’s holding you back?”

B’Elanna’s eyes closed a second, licking her lips. It was a second before the delirious engineer responded, “I love someone else, Tom… it wouldn’t be fair to you and… I can’t tell her…”

Kathryn’s breath hitched at the use of the female pronoun. Now her curiosity was truly raised, but she tried to squash it for the sake of B’Elanna’s privacy. She was slightly confused by feelings of … jealousy? ...toward the mystery woman. Not wanting to examine those feelings, she pushed them to the back of her mind, but Kathryn recognized that she wanted to protect B’Elanna from this other woman. She sighed and reached for a cool compress.

B’Elanna moaned at the touch of the cool compress on her face, welcoming the cold sensation against her heated skin. “It’s… unfair really…” B’Elanna continued talking, “... she’ll never love me… but… why would she when she… has Chakotay…” 

Kathryn’s eyes widened, briefly searching her mind for a shipboard romance that might be entangling her XO, but immediately shook her head. No, she knew of his struggles with his feelings for her and he was ever faithful at her side, supporting her in any way that he could. It was one of the things she admired about him. Then realization dawned in Kathryn’s mind, and she looked back at the woman in front of her, suddenly aware of her love interest, and her heart pounded. ‘Me! She’s in love with me!’

“I’ve… accepted… I can never tell her… she’s the Captain… she can’t be with me, I know that… but my soul aches at the thought… of being with another and not her… I’d rather be alone….” She whispered. Tears had formed in the engineer's eyes, which were growing heavy again. She let out a shaky breath before continuing, “That’s… why I pushed… you away… I… hope you can forgive me...” She pleaded lightly. B’Elanna was finding it hard to stay awake once more, giving into the urge to sleep.

Still kneeling at B’Elanna’s side, Kathryn straightened up and pushed back onto her heels. Emotional shock set in, as she realized she was the cause of Tom’s and B’Elanna’s breakup. Her fondness for Tom caused her a flash of guilt for the pain she had inflicted on him, even if indirectly. ‘Great. Yet more guilt to carry.’ 

Kathryn thought of the tangled mess of relationships onboard Voyager. ‘What a mess.’ It was inevitable, she supposed, when they were fighting for their lives on an almost daily basis, depending on each other, turning to each other for comfort or celebration. There was no one else out here. No other support. In the back of her mind, she knew that it made it all the more important that she, as Voyager’s Captain, remain above the communal relationships of her crew. ‘But it’s been so lonely’, she sighed. Coming back to her present reality, she looked down at the dear woman in front of her. This away mission was teaching Kathryn that there really was so much more to B’Elanna than what the engineer allowed others to see. She gently wiped the sheen from her patient's brow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: We're going to shake things up!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna gets worse, Voyager makes contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)
> 
> \--------------------
> 
> Have no fear! This is all part of the plan to bring them together!

“Voyager… to… away…. team….” Commander Chakotay’s voice was soon coming through the amplified combadge.

Kathryn rose and slammed her badge. “Chakotay! Can you read me?” she gasped out.

“Yes… Captain…” His voice broke up. “Your message buoy said that you were going down ... are you okay?” he questioned.

“I’m fine, but B’Elanna is severely hurt. I’ve been trying to stabilize her…we need to get her to the Doctor in sickbay. And we'll need a repair team for the Sacajawea. We crashed after getting hit by gravimetric eddies. The Flyer’s new shielding should make it through. Please verify that with Tom.”

“Understood, Captain.” Chakotay said. “We… are waiting for the Flyer.... Voyager is still without warp drive… it will… longer…” his voice was breaking up. “I will order the Flyer…. to your location…”

“Understood, Voyager. If you can, contact us with their ETA. When we return to the ship, we can send the Flyer back here with a repair team to retrieve the Sacajawea and a mining team for the supplies we’re here for in the first place.” Kathryn knew she was having a hard time holding back the irritation in her voice. “Janeway out.”

The channel closed on Voyager’s end as Chakotay quickly began to give out orders to the bridge crew and make contact with the Delta Flyer.

B’Elanna was awake again, having missed the entire transmission between Voyager’s Command Team. She was still feverish, her breathing labored with each intake, and the injuries were starting to take their toll on the usually strong half-Klingon. She was more alert, the delirium having cleared. “Captain…”

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Kathryn knelt next to B’Elanna. “I’ve got good news—Voyager picked up the message from our buoy, and I just got done talking to Chakotay. They’re still in the midst of repairs, but he’ll divert the Delta Flyer to come to our rescue. I asked him to contact us with an ETA once he knows more. Help is on the way.” Her last statement sounded a little pithy to her ears, but she recognized that the phrase had become such a cliché because the deep feelings of relief behind it were so true.

B’Elanna let out a shaky breath as she nodded, “That’s... good.” She offered up, unsure what else she was supposed to say, but felt a small sense of relief especially since the engineer could feel her condition worsening. “I hope they hurry… I don't… feel good… ”

Kathryn leaned forward to feel B’Elanna’s forehead. “You must still be fighting that infection—you’re burning up.” She reached for the tricorder and flipped it into a scan. “Yup, you’re running at 41 degrees C. That would be dangerously high for a full-human, but it’s merely high for a half-Klingon. I don’t like it, and I’m still worried about you, but we’ll get you home to the Doctor. Are you feeling any more clear-headed? You’ve been quite delirious for a while now.” Kathryn surreptitiously looked at B’Elanna from under her eyelashes.

After hearing Kathryn confirm the suspicions that she was fighting an infection, B’Elanna focused on the question of whether she was feeling more clear-headed. She nodded, “For the moment, at least despite the headache....” She replied, biting her lip. “I hope I haven’t embarrassed myself.” She mumbled quietly, staring at the Captain.

Kathryn paused, distracted by how B’Elanna’s teeth tugged at her lower lip. She wondered whether she should address B’Elanna’s revelation or just ignore it, then said, “You thought you were talking to Tom.” 

“Oh.” B’Elanna said quietly. “I’m sorry… I’m not even going to ask what I said…”

“You don’t remember?”

Bits of the conversation flooded her memory. ‘Did I confess I have feelings for her? Shit!’ she thought. “It’s fuzzy.” She replied. 

Kathryn looked away as her chest constricted. She really had wanted to avoid facing these confusing feelings. She tried another delay tactic. “Really, I think you were just processing your feelings about your breakup with Tom. And I think that’s a good thing,” she said with a soft smile.

“Mm… probably…” B’Elanna said, averting her eyes from Kathryn for a brief moment as she tried to figure out what she could have said. Before B’Elanna could ask what she had confessed in her delusional state, a strong gust of wind from a low traveling eddy rushed through their makeshift camp area. The gust of wind scattered the supplies from the shuttle everywhere. The pop-up shelter held together, just barely, but seemed to funnel the winds underneath, directing the tumult right at them. Being strapped to a body board, B’Elanna had nothing to hold onto as the fierce gust of wind rolled her, then easily lifted underneath the board and flipped her over, sending her tumbling further downslope from their location. B’Elanna felt tight pressure and intense pain radiate through her chest as her upper body hit the ground, causing her ribs to shift and press further into her lungs.

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn gasped and lunged at empty air as the intense winds were tumbling her crewman away from her, down toward the shuttle crash site. Fighting to maintain her footing against the pressing torrent, Janeway crouched and scrambled downslope, trying to catch up to her helpless engineer, now being battered by the planet. She finally got a hand on her, only slowing B’Elanna’s progress, and realized she needed her whole body to brace against the momentum of the half-Klingon who had much higher muscle density. She managed to pull in front of B’Elanna’s trajectory and threw herself to the ground while wrapping her arms around the other woman.

B’Elanna groaned, feeling the wind ready to flip her another time, her dark eyes snapped to Kathryn now laying against her. A look of utter terror passed over the half-Klingon’s features. B’Elanna gasped as she struggled to get her breath, but it didn’t work. The gasp only brought on a painful, gurgling cough as blood began to pool in her mouth, stopping her from being able to cry out to Kathryn.

‘Damn it! I officially hate this fucking planet for trying to kill off my girl!’ Kathryn tried not to think what such an endearment meant, as she looked fearfully into wide brown eyes. The fierce wind continued to push against the body board strapped to B’Elanna’s back, almost as if it was a broad sail. Kathryn did her best to stabilize any further tumbling of the two of them, trying to hold herself against B’Elanna without crushing her ribs and mindful of her dislocated shoulder. She pushed against the top edge of the body board on B’Elanna’s left side, and braced her legs out behind her, trying to plant her boots into the loose soil disturbed by the shuttle crash.

The wind gusts continued for a few more minutes before finally settling down as the explosive eddy passed them by. B’Elanna turned her head away from Kathryn, not wanting to cough blood on her, as she continued to cough up blood and gasp for air. “Kat…” B’Elanna tried to talk. “I L…” She couldn’t finish her sentence as darkness began to take hold of her, the pain and lack of oxygen making it difficult to stay awake again.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delta Flyer to the rescue! Neelix is a doofus.  
> Does Janeway realize her feelings though? Hmm find out... the end has a nice surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

Just as B’Elanna’s eyes closed, the sound of a shuttle entering orbit could be heard. “Delta Flyer to Captain Janeway. Respond.”

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn resisted the temptation to attempt shaking B’Elanna back to consciousness. She feared for her, knowing that the tumbling had to have reinjured her ribs; it clearly had caused renewed bleeding into her lungs. She only hoped that the stiff body board had protected B’Elanna from additional injury to her lower torso, but couldn’t be sure that she might have internal bleeding now. Cranial swelling was also a possibility now too. ‘Damn it!’ She slammed her combadge. “Delta Flyer! Do you have transporters?”

“Aye, Captain, we do.” Neelix responded.

“Emergency transport now!” Janeway shouted with urgency. She desperately needed to get B’Elanna into the skilled hands of the Doctor.

“Stand by, we have a lock on you and Lieutenant Torres.” 

A few seconds later, they materialized on the aft deck of the Delta Flyer. Neelix immediately scurried into the aft compartment. Janeway looked up from the deck, where she was still entangled with B’Elanna, and sternly told Neelix, “Instruct Ensign Baytart to return to Voyager at best speed.”

Neelix hesitated, his eyes wide at the position of the two officers on the deck, then nodded and averted his eyes as he scurried forward toward the cockpit of the Flyer.

Kathryn unwound her arms from around B’Elanna and shifted the body board so it lay flat on the deck. She moved her hand under B’Elanna’s neck, then slid her hand under her head, gently re-aligning her head and shoulders. Neelix came back into the compartment, bent slightly at the waist, “Sorry to disturb you Captain…” Janeway shot a well-deserved death glare toward the Talaxian, “Just help me with her!” she snapped. She pointed to the aft transporter console. “Move her onto the biobed as soon as I get the bed locked into position.”

Neelix waited for the go ahead to initiate the transport. He set the transport coordinates and watched Lieutenant Torres de-materialize and then re-materialize ten centimeters above the biobed, resulting in B’Elanna’s body weight slamming downward onto the biobed. The combined sound that followed was a shout from Janeway and a blood-curdling cry from B’Elanna as her eyes flew open from the pain that shot through her. More blood poured out of her mouth as a coughing fit took hold of her upper body. 

Janeway fought to tamp down her rage and speak in a controlled voice. “Mr. Neelix, I’ll take it from here. You’re dismissed!” 

“Oh Captain! I’m so sorry! I… I… I don’t know what happened! I...” Neelix began to apologize profusely upon seeing the pain he had inflicted unintentionally on Lieutenant Torres.

Kathryn replied with steel in her voice, “You are dismissed! That’s Starfleet, for get out of here!” Neelix sorrowfully bobbed his head and scurried away. She immediately turned to comforting B’Elanna. 

With tears and fear in her dark eyes, B’Elanna began to panic as a flashback surfaced in her mind of a previous time she had awoken in restraints. A familiar feeling of the driving need to be free resurfaced. The half-Klingon found some strength to fight against the restraints, throwing her good shoulder into the strap. She pushed her right thigh and hip upward to break the restraint on her lower half. She couldn’t get a deep enough breath and the struggling was making it worse. B’Elanna managed to get her right arm free, reaching to pull at the restraints. 

Kathryn reached to calm B’Elanna’s flailing limbs. “Sh, sh, shhhh. B’Elanna! I’m here!” She crouched down into B’Elanna’s line of sight, gently cradling her face in her hands, trying to imbue the half-Klingon with a sense of calm. “The restraints were for your ribs, remember?” 

B’Elanna calmed down the second Kathryn came into visual range and touched her face. She reached out with her free hand to take hold of Kathryn’s hand, squeezing it, staring at her. “Kat… I … can’t… breath…” She rasped, blood slowly trickling from her bottom lip continuously. “I’m… scared…” 

Kathryn squeezed B’Elanna’s free hand with both of her own. Her heart ached like it hadn’t in a long time. “Oh honey, hang in there. We’re going to get you home.” She extracted her right hand and tapped her combadge without taking her eyes away from B’Elanna, “Mr. Neelix, what is our ETA to Voyager?”

“Ten minutes, C-Captain,” Neelix stuttered.

“Thank you Mr. Neelix.” Janeway was still angry with the Talaxian but sighed internally, knowing she was going to have to apologize to him for her behavior. “Can you make it ten minutes?” she asked softly to B’Elanna.

B’Elanna was drifting in and out, fighting to stay awake once more. “I… will… try….” She managed, her words were coming out slower and spaced out. “Kathryn… I… “ she trailed off. “I… love… you…” She whispered. 

Kathryn was growing concerned about B’Elanna’s worsening lethargy, but she gasped when the younger woman spoke of her love. She knew that B’Elanna would not willingly say those words unless she knew something was very wrong, very dire. That thought nearly made her heart stop. “Lanna… don’t…”, her voice broke.

“I… don’t… expect… anything… “ She trailed off as her eyes closed. “I… needed to tell… you….” B’Elanna coughed up more blood. 

“Lanna, don’t think that!” Kathryn strangled out the words. “Please! I can save you!” Tears filled her eyes.

“It’s… it… has… been… an honor… to… se… serve… you…” 

“No! Lanna, you are NOT leaving me!” Her voice was suddenly hoarse as tears streamed down her cheeks. Jerking forward, she grasped the sides of B’Elanna’s head and moved within a few centimeters of her face. She paused, gazing deeply into B’Elanna’s dark eyes. Then as if drawn magnetically to her lips, Kathryn slowly closed her eyes and pressed a soft, watery kiss onto B’Elanna’s lips. Her head seemed to spin as she gently tasted her lips, but she could only taste the salt of her own tears.

“Prepare for emergency transport, Captain. Beaming you both directly to sickbay,” sounded over the announcer.

Kathryn’s eyes snapped open. She only had the chance to pull away several centimeters, still clasping B’Elanna’s cheeks, before she felt the familiar tingle of the transporter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! B'Elanna's going to be okay! The next few chapters will involve some Janeway/Torres FEEEELLSSSS!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our dynamic ladies are back on Voyager. Let's see where things go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

As soon as she could move, Janeway straightened up while she dropped her Captain’s mask in place. She scowled when she realized they had arrived to the viewing of an audience. In addition to the Doctor, Tom was there ready to administer medical assistance, and Chakotay was there too. ‘Oh great, we’ve probably managed to make the boys jealous.’ While the two medics got to work triaging B'Elanna’s injuries, Janeway took a deep breath. She knew she needed to get a report on Voyager from her XO, but she dearly needed to check on B’Elanna before she resumed ship’s business. “One moment please, Chakotay.” She raised a finger in his direction, and he nodded.

Kathryn walked back to the biobed. “Report, Doctor.” 

“Captain, I really am quite busy as you can see, but I can tell you that Miss Torres will live. She requires extensive surgery, possibly a medically-induced coma, and probably physical therapy on her left side.” The Doctor paused before making eye contact with Janeway, and added quietly, “You did a good job, Captain. You kept her alive.” Janeway gave the Doctor a grateful nod.

She walked to the top of the biobed, where she could tell B’Elanna was struggling to stay lucid, watching her captain. “You take care, Lieutenant. You’ll follow the doctor’s orders, won’t you?” she said with a secret grin.

B'Elanna was alert enough as Kathryn neared her, watching her closely. “I will, Captain.” She mumbled as the Doctor pressed a hypospray to her neck.

****

B’Elanna

Nearly a week later, the Doctor had released B’Elanna to her quarters with strict orders to rest. Her injuries had been extensive, and the Doctor was surprised B’Elanna was able to heal. He attributed it to her Klingon DNA. The Doctor had kept her in a coma for two days so she had the chance to rest and recover. For the first time since being on Voyager, B’Elanna did not offer up any argument to being in Sickbay. Her body had taken a beating. B'Elanna was too tired to argue and fight the hologram. Before he let the half-Klingon leave, the Doctor made sure the broken bones and dislocated shoulder were healed. While B’Elanna was able to show him that she didn’t require physical therapy, the Doctor had given her orders to remain off duty for the next four days.

B’Elanna walked into her quarters with a tired sigh. She still felt sore but what was bothering her at the present moment was the emotional turmoil she felt. With nothing to do in Sickbay but rest, B’Elanna reflected on the entire away mission. She now remembered her delirious confession, and Kathryn kissing her on the Delta Flyer. That one kiss had sent a warmth flooding her entire body. Her fear had subsided and for a brief second, believed she would be okay. B’Elanna had hoped to see the Starfleet Captain after her surgery so the situation could be cleared up, but the Doctor informed her Kathryn came in when she was asleep. 

Standing in the middle of her quarters, B’Elanna’s head fell into her hands, silently wondering how to confront what happened on the away mission. She couldn’t hold back a soft sob. ‘I told her I loved her… she wasn’t supposed to know…’ with that thought on her mind, B’Elanna climbed into bed. She lay on her back, staring up at the bulkhead, listening to the hum of Voyager’s engines. It always calmed and soothed her. 

****

Kathryn

Kathryn had barely taken any time off after the disastrous away mission. She was avoiding having any down time as much as possible. She didn’t want to think about what to do about B’Elanna, now that she had survived their literal run-in with that hateful planet.

After getting up-to-speed on ship’s business with Chakotay on that day, she had asked him and Tuvok to continue taking care of her ship so she could get a hot bath and a full night’s sleep. She didn’t miss the look of surprise on both men’s faces. She was exhausted. She just wanted to go back to her quarters and to not think. However, that goal just didn’t seem to be in the cards.

Everything seemed to remind her of B’Elanna. When she reached back to unclasp her bra strap, she remembered unclasping B’Elanna’s bra strap and smoothing her hands over warm mocha skin. When she sank down into her hot bath, her eyes snapped open when she remembered B’Elanna’s delirious appreciation of her favorite bath scent. When she donned her satin nightgown, climbed under the bed covers, and grabbed her pillow as she turned onto her stomach, she arched her head up away from the pillow remembering clinging to B’Elanna with terror in her eyes as the damned planet tore at them. 

What she really couldn’t get over was the memory of that kiss. Oh that kiss. Now she was wishing for so much more. The crazy thing, she realized, is that as attracted to Chakotay as she had always been, they had never shared a kiss. It’s not as if they hadn’t been faced with equally dire circumstances; there had been many occasions when one or the other of them had very nearly died. But there was something about that moment in the Flyer that had torn at Kathryn’s heart--she just couldn’t bear to lose B’Elanna. She sighed. Thinking about Chakotay reminded her that any relationship with her Chief Engineer had to be exposed to the same scrutiny. Would she be able to treat B’Elanna fairly, as just another member of her dear crew, when catastrophe threatened Voyager? Would she be able to send her on risky away missions? ‘Look at what happened this time, for goodness sake!’ she thought. Would she be strong enough to carry on for the sake of her crew if B’Elanna was killed?


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B’Elanna invites the Captain for dinner, the Captain agrees!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

B’Elanna was off duty the next day. ‘Four days off duty. Kahless, what am I going to do?’ She thought as she dressed in comfortable civilian clothes. She walked out of her quarters and took the turbolift from Deck Nine to Deck Two to have breakfast in the Mess Hall. After a brief conversation with Neelix, she took a tray of food over to a table near the corner of the Mess Hall. She wasn’t in the mood to be bothered. The news of her near-death experience had made it through the ship’s gossip mill. 

Kathryn had not had a restful night, so finally she had risen early and prepared for her day. She took the lift up to Deck Two, planning to stop in the Mess Hall for her second--or was it third--cup of the day, as long as Neelix didn’t try to palm off his “better than coffee” substitute on her. After the away mission, when he and Baytart had rescued them from dire circumstances, she and Neelix had cleared the air. She had assigned him additional transporter training, but she just couldn’t stay mad at someone who brightens everyone’s day. As she stopped in front of the warmed coffee pot that Neelix kept ready at hand just for her, she heard a soft voice coming from behind her. 

B’Elanna had been pushing the food around on her plate for the last five minutes. She had nibbled at enough of whatever the concoction was, to know that she wasn’t as hungry as she thought. Still, she could hear the Doctor’s prompt tone in her ear stressing that the only way she would feel better was to eat a decent meal. Spotting the Captain walking into the Mess Hall, B’Elanna’s dark eyes followed her. The Mess Hall was fairly empty. It was now or never. Moving to get out of her seat, she recycled the tray before walking up to the counter where Janeway stood. “Hi, Captain.” Her voice came out a lot quieter than she had anticipated. Why am I nervous? I’ve talked to Captain Janeway for years. Yeah, but she didn't know about your little love confession until now.’ Her internal dialogue darted back and forth before she managed to silence her thoughts.

Kathryn pulled in a breath and turned toward her engineer. “Well hello B’Elanna.” Her chest was suddenly tight and she had to calm her breathing. “How have you been?” She didn’t really need to ask that since she had been getting regular reports, too regular according to the irritable Doctor, on B’Elanna’s status. 

B’Elanna looked at Kathryn and offered a small smile, “I am better. Much better.” She replied. “Off duty for the next few days, and already bored.” She said, chewing at the inside of her lip. “I wanted to thank you for what you did to keep me alive on the planet.” She paused a moment, trying to read the Captain’s facial expression. “I was wondering, if you perhaps had time to talk, maybe over dinner? I’d like to thank you in some way, and since I’m restricted from Engineering for a few days, unable to do what I do best…” B’Elanna trailed off realizing she was starting to ramble now. “So… dinner?”

Kathryn smiled and thought that no one but a half-Klingon Lieutenant would be gutsy enough to ask a Starfleet Captain out on a dinner date. Because, really, this is what it would be--a date. How could it not be, after that kiss? But then Kathryn paused in uncertainty. Maybe it hadn’t been as special for B’Elanna? Yes, they needed to talk. Kathryn still hadn’t solved her conundrum about whether to open her heart while captaining this ship. “Okay. Dinner. How about 1900 at my place? If my replicator rebels on me again, we can fix it together.”

B’Elanna arched her brow a little, having heard rumors of Kathryn’s replicator mishaps. “You can host, but how about you leave the replicating to me? I’ve heard what you call your replicator, a ‘Glorified Toaster’, right?” She smirked. “I should bring the food, afterall, I’m the one that asked you to have dinner.” 

Kathryn let out a warm chuckle. “Busted. I guess there are very few secrets on a ship this size. Alright, you bring the food, I’ll provide wine and ambiance.”

B’Elanna gave a nod at the suggestion, excitement bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. “Aye, Captain. 1900. See you then!” She said with a smile. B’Elanna left the Mess Hall and returned to her quarters planning to spend the rest of the day thinking about what she would wear, replicate and even say. It was enough to keep her entertained, and not thinking about what Lieutenant Carey was doing in her engine room.

Kathryn ambled toward the turbolift and exited on Deck 1. She was a little early for shift change, and Gamma Shift snapped to attention when they saw the captain enter the Bridge. “At ease everyone, “ she waved them down and turned into her Ready Room. She grabbed another cup of coffee from the replicator and settled in at her desk. She sat sipping the hot beverage, holding the cup with both hands, lazily swiveling her chair slightly. A gentle smile came to her face and she huffed out a giggle, thinking about the boldness of her chief engineer. She had a full day of work ahead of her, but barring an unforeseen attack, Chakotay was quite good about pressuring her to leave Deck 1 behind her at 1700. That would give her just enough time for a bath, dressing, and the ambiance that she had promised B’Elanna. She smirked. It was going to be a fun day having something to anticipate.

Having spent the day cleaning her already tidy quarters and sorting through some work on her workstation, B’Elanna was wondering how she was going to survive a few more days away from Engineering. The only thing keeping her mind occupied was thoughts of dinner with her Captain. B’Elanna had spent a good hour of her day just trying to decide what to wear. She settled on nice pants and a sleeveless top. She was going for casual and comfortable, having just survived a shuttle accident, she didn’t want to be uncomfortable. 

Kathryn’s day was, thankfully, filled with the mundane. She and Chakotay had divvied up the crew evaluations; she took care of the senior staff, while he handled the department heads. After a few hours toiling at her screen, she reached back to massage her stiff neck muscles. ‘Ugh. These things are an actual pain in the neck!’ However, she waved off Chakotay’s offer of lunch in the Mess Hall, and opted to replicate a bowl of simple vegetable broth. She was motivated to get these reports completed. The task was accomplished by 1500, so she grabbed a couple PADDs containing the latest reports on the progress of repairs, and headed out to her chair on the bridge. Reading about the work in the Engineering department made her think about B’Elanna. Chakotay caught her staring off to the side, and she shook herself back to attention after his light-hearted comment. She gave him a bright smile and insisted she would stick around for the rest of her shift.

After taking a sonic shower and getting ready, B’Elanna set on preparing the evening’s meal for the captain. She looked through the replicator options, trying to pick something they would both enjoy. Settling with caesar salad to start, followed by chicken parmesan and a side of alfredo pasta, finishing the meal with a raspberry white chocolate cheesecake. At the appropriate time, she replicated the meals and placed them in stasis containers. She chuckled softly to herself at how weird it must appear for her to walk through the ship with the containers. But, she had insisted on replicating dinner.

Kathryn had enjoyed a leisurely soak in her bathtub. She had pinned up her hair for her bath, but then brushed her auburn locks back out into her current bob. She chose her favorite blue sheath dress that complemented her eyes, opting to leave it unbelted for comfort. She replicated fresh flowers, setting the candles and bottle of merlot that she’d selected on the dining table. Lastly, she asked the computer to play her favorite jazz instrumental music at background volume. She felt light butterflies in her belly as she surveyed the room, trying to reassure herself that this arrangement was no more than she had done for countless working dinners with Chakotay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next Chapter is: Dinner!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner, what will happen? Will Kathryn embrace love or push it away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)

Promptly at 1900, B’Elanna, with two stasis containers in hand, pressed the door chime to the Captain’s Quarters. She was vaguely aware she had never been inside the other woman’s living space. She was nervous, the butterflies-in-her-stomach type of nervous. She had spent an hour of her day debating on how to approach the subject of the confession and the wonderful kiss, a kiss she wished she had experienced when she was a little less hurt. 

Kathryn’s breath hitched in happy anticipation, as she strode toward her door, she wanted to personally greet B’Elanna, rather than wave her in with voice command. In the back of her mind, she also wanted to watch her reaction upon seeing the blue dress. She had even put on some lipstick. She pressed the small panel to whoosh open the door, and lit up a bright smile in greeting. “Well hello B’Elanna. Please, do come in,” she said sweeping her arm indicating the combined lounge and dining space.

B’Elanna smiled as the doors opened revealing Kathryn. Her eyes roamed the woman’s attire. ‘She looks beautiful.’ she felt herself swoon a little. “Hi Kathryn.” She greeted her. “You look great.” She said as she walked into the quarters, looking around the Captain’s space, taking in the small decorative items. 

“Aww, aren’t you sweet? You look lovely too,” Kathryn gave her a soft smile with a slight tilt of her head. 

B’Elanna smiled in response to the comment about her appearance, “Thanks.” She said quietly, looking around once more as she turned to look at Kathryn. 

Spotting the dining table, she walked over towards it to set the containers down. “How are you? Did you have a good day?”

“Oh, you know, the usual stack of report PADDs higher than my head.” She raised a horizontal palm just above her forehead, as she followed her toward the table. “I can report to you that Mr. Carey hasn’t broken anything new in your engine room,” she said with a wicked grin, knowing that B’Elanna was probably itching to get back to work soon.

“A stack of PADDS. Mm, sounds… exciting.” She grinned upon hearing her remark on Carey. “Good to know. I’d hate to have to cause him bodily harm again.” She smirked, knowing full well that Joe was more than capable of running Engineering. 

Kathryn snickered. Those days of strife in the engine room were long behind them, and she deeply appreciated how much B’Elanna had grown and matured into her role as a senior officer. Though Kathryn had a few years’ lead on her, she had come to consider B'Elanna as nearly an equal, on a personal basis, aside from their ranks.

“Are you ready to eat?” B’Elanna asked as she began to take the salads out of the container and set them on the table.

“I’m famished!” Kathryn wondered when it was that she had last been so hungry, and tried to rein-in her enthusiasm. “Why don’t I pour the wine first—is merlot ok?” She inhaled through her nose, slowly and deeply, “Oh my, is that Italian food that I smell? Mmm, my favorite.”

B’Elanna smiled, “Yes, it is. To start we are having caesar salads and then chicken parmesan and alfredo pasta. Dessert is a surprise.” She replied. “And I’d love a glass of merlot.” 

Kathryn’s curiosity was immediately piqued at the suggestion of a surprise, and had a hard time pretending to ignore it.. “Wow—that sounds great! My replicator would NEVER agree to give me something as good as that. I may have to start having you over more often.” Janeway internally grimaced at what came out sounding like a proposition. She sauntered over to hand the glass of wine to B’Elanna.

B’Elanna looked at Kathryn for a second, laughing low at the offer. “It’s all in how you talk to your replicator. They’re very sensitive. You have to be nice to them if you want to get anything out of them.” She smirked as she accepted the wine glass.

Kathryn tilted her head with pursed lips, looking at B’Elanna through her lashes, “Does that work on engineers too?”

B’Elanna had just taken a sip of her wine and felt it gather in her throat, causing her to cough and swallow rather hard. ‘’Is she flirting with me? That was a flirt.’ She looked at the woman before flashing her a smile. “Mm, we are not that much different. A little attention goes a long way.” She winked at Kathryn as she took a seat.

At that response, Kathryn let out a delighted laugh, which petered into a chuckle. She took a deep, satisfied breath. ‘Goddess, it feels so good to flirt! I have missed this, this kind of witty repartee. I adore Chakotay dearly, but I never have felt completely relaxed around him. Why do I feel so free around B’Elanna?’ She took a seat, leaned on her elbows, and looked at the young woman across from her. “So how are you? How was your day?”

B’Elanna couldn’t help but smile hearing Kathryn’s light laugh. It was a pleasant sound. She looked at the woman before her and shrugged, “I am okay, glad to be able to rest in my own quarters.” 

“Ugh, I know what you mean! There’s no privacy in sickbay—I feel like a specimen on display for passerby to gawk at.” Kathryn huffed.

B’Elanna nodded and continued, “As for my day, it was quiet, relaxing. I tried to follow through with doing as the Doctor instructed, lots of rest. You may want to check in on me tomorrow though.” She winked as she took a sip of her wine.

Kathryn was pleased that B’Elanna was taking her health and healing seriously. She let out a little shudder at the thought of how badly she had been injured only a week ago. If this, this whatever it is, that was developing between them was going to go any further, she needed to not worry about her all the time. B’Elanna was going to have to do her part in staying hale and hearty. ‘Hmmm,’ Kathryn mused, ‘Maybe having a sturdy half-Klingon girlfriend for the Captain would be an advantage…’ She sipped her wine and said, “Thank you for taking care of yourself and tending to your healing. Maybe we’ll be able to convince the Doctor to let you get back to what you do best, as you said. But you’re right, just to be sure we get you there, I might need to keep a close eye on you.” She grinned openly at B’Elanna this time.

B’Elanna kept her dark eyes on the woman before her, wondering what was going on in the brilliant, confident mind. “As much as I would like to return to duty, I think I will take the days off and rest. I’ll give you a moment to wipe the look of shock off your face,” she teased, taking a few bites of her salad. She was always insistent on returning to Engineering after an injury. However, the away mission had left her dealing with more than just physical injuries. “I might spend a few hours on the holodeck. I have a…” She trailed off as she remembered her holodeck privileges were suspended. “Nevermind that idea… my privileges are suspended.”

Kathryn’s quick mind immediately thought of a solution to B’Elanna’s problem of needing to find diversion while she recuperated, that thought was immediately chased by another thought of the crew’s perception of preferential treatment, that her judgement couldn’t appear to be compromised, such that anyone could complain she was giving B’Elanna special treatment. She wanted to check with Chakotay, under the guise of the growing friendship that he had suggested, on the propriety of easing B’Elanna’s suspension. She realized that leaning more on Chakotay’s advice could protect B’Elanna from speculation and gossip, going forward. She’d have to follow up with that later. “Well, I happen to have an inroad with the Captain, and I might be able to convince her to let me supervise those sessions. Let me check with the XO,” making it clear there were no promises made.

B’Elanna couldn’t hide her surprised look at Kathryn’s words. She did not want to put Kathryn in any sort of uncomfortable position. She had to deal with the consequences of her own reckless actions. “I appreciate it, but there is no pressure. I have several books I can entertain myself with.” She said. “Are you ready for the main course?” She asked curiously.

“Yes! The Caesar was great, but the Italian aromas of the main course are driving me crazy. I’d swear I have some Italian ancestry on my mother’s side.” She took another sip of her wine.

B’Elanna chuckled at Kathryn’s excitement, getting out of her chair with a sense of relief that she had chosen a good dinner menu. She walked over to the stasis container and pulled out two plates. “Bon appetit.” The engineer grinned as she set a plate in front of Kathryn. B’Elanna set her plate down on the table and took her seat. 

Kathryn smiled and dug in with her fork. The tang of the Parmesan sauce and the creme of the alfredo thrilled her tongue. The fingers of her left hand covered her lips. “Oh my goddess, B’Elanna! This is so good! I really am going to have to try being nicer to my replicator. Or I may have to promote you to my personal chef,” she raised an eyebrow and grinned.

B’Elanna smiled at Kathryn between bites of her own meal, “I’m really glad you like it.” She said. She couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking her head. “I think Neelix would be offended if he found out I was the Captain’s personal chef.” She shot back a grin.

“Yes, he has reminded me on multiple occasions that I need to set an example for the crew,” Kathryn sighed.

“Mm, that doesn’t surprise me. He seems the type to put anyone in their place for the sake of morale.” B’Elanna smirked. “I am glad you like dinner though-- wait till dessert. I planned a special treat.”

“I haven’t forgotten the mention of dessert.” Kathryn avoided using the words ‘surprise dessert’, to see if she could wheedle the surprise out of her. She couldn’t handle knowing there was a surprise in the works, but not knowing what the surprise was. “Are you going to tell me what it is?”

B’Elanna looked at Kathryn’s plate then back up at the woman’s eager expression. She couldn’t help but grin, “As long as you finish your food-- dessert is raspberry white chocolate cheesecake.”

Kathryn stared at her chief engineer with her mouth gaping open. Firstly, at the audacity of the suggestion that she would withhold dessert from her captain. Secondly, at the realization that B’Elanna was really just watching out for her, making sure she ate healthy foods. And finally, she shook her head at the thought that B’Elanna had somehow divined her favorite dessert combination: raspberries and chocolate! Could this woman be any more perfect? A shy grin blossomed on her face and she attacked the remnants of the main course on her plate. Then, just to lighten the mood, she picked up her plate and mimed licking off the plate. She lowered the plate and clasped her hands, leaning forward with a happy expectant look on her face.

B’Elanna ate her food, not minding the comfortable silence that had drifted between them as they finished their meal. Any nervousness she felt was starting to settle. She watched Kathryn’s mimed actions and couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped her lips, “You’re adorable.” She let the words slip and blushed as she got up from the table, realizing what she had just said to her Captain. “Let me get that dessert.” With her back turned to Kathryn, she rolled her eyes and let out a soft embarrassed sigh.

Kathryn felt herself blush at the affectionate words. Her heart swelled at the sense that B’Elanna might actually feel something deeper for her than their light banter had let on. She suddenly felt lighter, almost buoyant. ‘Whoa, Kathryn, don’t get carried away. There’s still a lot that has to be talked out, before we can decide if this is going anywhere. Calm down, girl.’ She took a soft breath and tried to focus on the topic at hand: dessert!

B’Elanna walked back over to the table and set the dessert plates on the table, one in front of Kathryn. “Enjoy!” She smiled. She took her seat and began to eat her dessert, humming happily at the taste as they settled into light conversation.

The way into Kathryn’s heart was by dessert. She picked up the first forkful of cheesecake and placed it in her mouth. Even before withdrawing the fork, her widened eyes snapped up to B’Elanna’s eyes, and she promptly swooned over the taste sensations in her mouth. “Mmmmm”, she moaned, as her eyes drifted shut. She swallowed and slowly opened her eyes with a huge smile on her face. “That. Is. Divine.” She quickly took her second bite, then gazing steadily at B’Elanna, she slowly withdrew the fork across her tongue, through slightly parted lips.

B’Elanna watched Kathryn’s face as she took her first bite of the cheesecake, intrigued by the almost orgasmic look on her face. She watched the way Kathryn licked her fork. A warm sensation spread from the pit of her stomach straight down between her legs. ‘Kahless, help me. This woman is going to make me do something inappropriate before the night is done.’ She cleared her throat and smiled, “I am glad you like it.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dinner Talk. ;) They got things to figure out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternating Role Play story turned into a co-written fanfic!  
> MagdaleneJaneway is the writer for Kathryn Janeway  
> JanewaysEngineer is the writer for B'Elanna Torres
> 
> Beta is MagdaleneJaneway. :)
> 
> \-----------------------------
> 
> This chapter does have hints of J/C, but this is a Janeway/Torres story through and through! So if you’re a J/C fan don’t get your hopes up! :)

Once dinner was finished, they cleared their dishes to the recycler. Kathryn grabbed the wine bottle and invited B’Elanna over to the lounge area, indicating the couch. She refilled both of their glasses, and left the bottle on the table. She leaned back against the soft cushions and sighed. “That was an excellent meal. Thank you. I don’t think I’ve eaten that much in ages,” she laughed.

B’Elanna took a seat on the couch, cradling her wine glass in her hands. She relaxed back into the cushions and gazed at Kathryn, “You’re welcome. I wanted to find some way to thank you for what you did for me on the planet.” She looked at the wine in her glass. “I know there was a sense of duty, but…” She trailed off for a second to try and gather her thoughts. “I’m not used to being in a position to depend on anyone, so I really appreciate it.”

Kathryn leaned forward, looking at B’Elanna. “Oh B’Elanna, you should know that you don’t need to thank me. Yes, I would do that for any member of my crew.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “But I have to be honest. I don’t know if it was that we opened up to each other for emotional support while we were enroute, or what, but when you were injured I was terrified. I experienced an intense feeling that I. Just. Couldn't. Lose you.” She shook her head. “I’ve dealt with trying to save injured crewmen before, back on the Al-Batani and the Billings… Hell, I’ve lost count how many times Chakotay has nearly gotten himself killed,” she joked, “but with you it was different. Much closer to how I felt on Tau Ceti Prime. Again, maybe it was the context, that I had just dredged up all those feelings again, but I don’t think so.”

B’Elanna listened to Kathryn talk about the intense feelings of needing to save her and the past experiences of saving crewmembers. She was quiet a second as she tried to process her next thoughts. “I think we should talk about these feelings that came up…” She started the conversation hesitantly. “I remembered my delirious confession, what I said, and…” She paused a moment, “the kiss.” She looked at Kathryn, turning more to face her as she thought about the kiss. 

“Ah, yes. The kiss.” Kathryn got a little thrill in her belly remembering what it felt like to have her lips pressed to B’Elanna’s soft lips. She absentmindedly raised a hand, to place her fingertips gently on her lips.

B’Elanna smiled momentarily at Kathryn’s comment before continuing, “I’m not going to deny the attraction or feelings I have for you. Despite being delusional, I meant what I said but… I want you to know I don’t expect anything. You are my Captain, and I know the position you are in as my Captain. I know what I feel for you, but I understand your position and don’t expect anything from you. I would have kept it to myself, if it wasn’t for my delirium..” She let her gaze drift downward, feeling a tightness in her chest. She knew they were flirting, and she enjoyed the playfulness of it, but the half-Klingon was not ready for rejection. “I don’t want you to regret it…” 

Her eyes snapped up to look at B’Elanna, “I don’t regret it, not for one moment. It seems we both opened a door that day. Thankfully, it was the same door,” she lifted a small smile, “like the adjoining door between adjacent suites. I’ve been worried, this past week, that I could have in any way forced myself upon you, and that you let me “take Captain’s Privilege”. In an uninjured state, I know you would not put up with any shit, but I am so worried that you were not in a state to resist a romantic advance. I could not abide if that had happened. There are too many men out there who take what they want, without consent, and I guess I’m worried that I did it to you.” Kathryn sighed and looked at her hands in her lap. “You care for me--love me--but I don’t want to have taken advantage of you. Does that make any sense at all?” She turned her head to look at B’Elanna again.

B’Elanna nodded, “It makes sense, and for what it's worth, I am glad you don’t have any regrets.” She replied. She had a regret that she wasn’t able to actively participate in the kiss as she would have liked. It had happened rather quickly. “You didn’t take advantage, at least I don’t think you did. I wish I had been more coherent and not choking on blood during that kiss, but…” She sighed, “You shouldn’t be worried. It was a welcomed kiss, one I would like to experience again-- without all the blood and near-death-experience emotions-- but as I said, I won’t put you in an uncomfortable position being my Captain. Even if we opened the same door on mutual feelings. There’s more at risk if we decided to explore this.” She sighed quietly, looking at her wine glass once more.

Kathryn placed a hand on B’Elanna’s forearm, “You don’t know how much relief I feel to hear you say that.” Her tight shoulders relaxed a bit. “You really do seem to understand. There’s a lot to talk about before we can decide whether to move forward. I really need to be sure that you understand, and I think you know this already, that here in the Delta Quadrant, and for now until we get home, I am two people: first-and-foremost, the Captain, who puts her ship and her crew before herself. That part is non-negotiable. The Captain comes first until we’re home, or I’m dead, preferably the former and not the latter. Second, I’m…” she sighed, “I’m Kathryn--and I’m glad you’re comfortable enough to call me by my name,” she said as an aside. “I’m Kathryn.” She said it with finality, almost as if she was speaking to the universe, staking a claim to her own identity and a name she rarely heard anymore.

B’Elanna listened to Kathryn talk about her duties as the Captain and what they both knew needed to be accomplished: get the crew home. It was her responsibility as Chief Engineer to keep the ship running so they could return to the Alpha Quadrant. At the mention of calling her Captain by her first name, she smiled. “It just slipped. I’ve never called you Kathryn, but you were touching me to keep me alert and… it just slipped. I liked the way it felt to say your name-- and you didn’t stop me.” 

Kathryn laughed, “That’s my B’Elanna, so bold, charging forward, asking permission later!” She quieted and looked at her while she squeezed her arm. “I like to hear you say it. I’ve missed hearing my name.”

B’Elanna laughed as well, “I’m half-Klingon. We tend to boldly charge forward, then ask questions later.” She pointed out, letting her hand rest on top of Kathryn’s hand, slowly lacing their fingers together. “Kathryn, I understand your responsibility as Captain. I was attracted to the Captain first. I mean… when those hands go to her hips….” She grinned and winked. “I would like to give you a reason to be Kathryn off duty.” She said in a serious tone.

Kathryn looked down at their enfolded hands, and a warmth bubbled up into her heart. A sense of joy rode the rising crest, all the way into her throat. She choked on a giggle as tears nearly flooded her eyes. She was awash with so many emotions, one that she could identify was gratitude. ‘She wants me to have a reason…. to be Kathryn. To be myself.’ She swallowed a lump down, and took a deep breath. “There is more to talk about here—the Captain versus Kathryn—but there’s a topic that I want to talk about first, and I hope you’re ready for it. Afterall, it’s a topic near-and-dear to both our hearts. He’s been a great friend to both of us.” She gave a teasing smile.

B’Elanna looked at Kathryn, smiling lightly at the emotion she saw as the woman processed what had just been said. At the mention they had more to talk about, B’Elanna sighed softly. “Chakotay. He is honestly one of the reasons I wanted to keep my feelings for you to myself. I didn’t even tell Tom I had feelings for you when I broke up with him.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying Chakotay knows? About your feelings?”

“No!” B’Elanna said quickly. “Are you kidding?” She shook her head. “Chakotay is like a lost puppy when he’s upset. He’s one of my best friends… I don’t want to hurt him.”

Kathryn nodded. “I don’t want to hurt him either. He wears his heart on his sleeve. But I can’t ignore my feelings for you, just to protect his feelings. Honestly, my relationship with him is complicated. He is without a doubt, the best XO I could have hoped for, he has been 100% reliable. And he has been a very good friend. He’s one of few people on board who even knows that Kathryn exists!”

“Yes, he does, and he means well. He is a good person and a good friend. It is good that you can be Kathryn with him.” B’Elanna said. “I know he loves you, Kathryn. He has never said it, but the majority of the crew knows it..”

Kathryn said with a sigh, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out what is going on here,” she waved a finger back and forth between the two of them, “and why it feels different than what I feel with Chakotay.” 

B’Elanna listened to Kathryn talk about the First Officer. She felt guilty they were having this conversation because of Chakotay. She didn’t want to hurt the man. She sighed softly, “And, why does it feel different with me? Chakotay and you are obviously good together. You run this ship well together or is that all it can be, Captain and Commander?” 

“I’m not sure why it feels different with you. I feel more free around you, it’s like I can never fully relax around him. I really do adore him, but Chakotay’s emotional neediness has placed a LOT of pressure on me that I just can’t deal with, not while we’re here in the Delta. I’ve had to push him away. A deeper relationship with him is not going to happen. Maybe later…” she paused in contemplation. “But I need to figure out if I, and by that I mean the Captain, can have a deeper relationship with you. Can the Captain pursue her own happiness, or is it too big of a risk to the ship?

B’Elanna was starting to feel less confident about this conversation. She was happy that Kathryn felt more free around her. She wanted Kathryn to feel herself, less like the Captain. She wanted her to be Kathryn. She sighed softly, her chest tightening a little. She leaned forward to press a kiss to the woman’s cheek, “Kathryn, it sounds like you have a great deal to think about, your feelings for Chakotay and your responsibilities, which is okay.” she said. 

“Yes...” Kathryn sighed at the soft touch of B’Elanna’s lips on her cheek, but sensed that B'Elanna was slipping through her fingers. “I feel like I’ve screwed this all up, that I’ve hurt you. I’m so so sorry.” She took a deep breath. “You asked me to dinner, made me this beautiful meal, we enjoyed some wonderful flirting, and now I….”, she choked and dropped her head despondently low.

B’Elanna reached out to touch the cheek she had kissed, gazing at the woman before her, taking in her words. She had asked what made her different from Chakotay. She knew that Voyager’s Command Team were very close. It didn’t make having this conversation any easier because someone was going to end up hurt. She hoped it wasn’t her. “You haven’t hurt me nor have you screwed this up, Kathryn.”

Kathryn covered B’Elanna’s hand with both of her hands, pressing them to her cheek and leaning into the warmth. Tears were welling up into her eyes. “I’m not used to opening up to someone new, and I’m clearly not very good at it yet. I really do think that I want this, but I’m just trying to figure it all out.”

B’Elanna looked at the emotion forming in Kathryn’s eyes and moved closer, hating to see those beautiful blue orbs glistening with tears. She cupped both her cheeks and leaned in to kiss her on the lips. The feeling that rushed through her in that moment was electric, making her feel warm all over her. Something within her desired the woman, craved her, and it hurt to pull away. She fought a Klingon instinct as she inhaled the woman’s scent and forced herself back.

Kathryn had hiccuped a little sob into B’Elanna’s lips, and returned the gentle pressure on her lips. She felt like she was melting into B’Elanna’s hands, but also felt a glowing flare rise in her chest. She sighed and leaned her forehead against B’Elanna’s forehead.

“It’s okay, Kathryn. This thing between us should not be decided in one conversation. There is more at stake than just our personal lives… the ship, the crew… it all needs to factor into this. I want you to take your time and to know that I will be here when the Captain and Kathryn both figure out what they want. There is no rush. You deserve to be happy, Kathryn. I know Chakotay would echo those words,” she said as she stood up. “I am going to go for the night, but if you want to talk more… I’ll be in my quarters, resting.” She leaned down to give her another kiss. “Good night, Kathryn.”

The door swished close behind B’Elanna. Kathryn raised her hands to her face, shaking her head in self-disgust that she really had made a mess of a promising evening. When B’Elanna made the dinner offer, maybe she should have postponed the dinner date until she had sorted out all of her feelings and the needs of the ship. She carried so much guilt but she had caught a glimpse of a possibility of true joy, with B’Elanna. She sighed, shaking her head again. She touched her fingers to her lips, remembering B’Elanna’s last words before she left, ‘How did she get so wise? She is so GOOD,” that she wasn’t going to rush her, that she still had time to figure out what she wanted for both the Captain and Kathryn. She hoped to goddess that she could arrange a compromise so that both the Captain and Kathryn landed on the same side of the B’Elanna Equation, because otherwise the Captain would win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes: dun dun dun…. PLOT TWIST. What will happen next?
> 
> Janeway/Torres coming soon!
> 
> We are nearing the end of this fic! Only two more chapters left.  
> :D


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reflection on what could be, from Kathryn and B’Elanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to add a little thought from our leading ladies.  
> Kathryn has to process while B'Elanna endures another day off of duty.

****

**Kathryn**

Kathryn actually slept deeply that night. She was emotionally worn out, but felt lighter for it. Some of the cobwebs had been cleared, during the discussion after dinner, ending in tears and another kiss on the lips. She made it past her usual 3 AM witching hour but didn't sleep through the entire night. She woke at 4:30 and decided to take a hot bath. After replicating a cup of coffee, she thought maybe she would do some journaling, to sort out her muddled thoughts. She usually didn’t want to put these kinds of thoughts into her personal logs, and definitely not her Captain’s Logs. ‘Goddess! Can you imagine?!’ Just a good old-fashioned paper journal, fine-lined and leather bound. She had always kept a journal, since high school, and kept the collection of them at her mother’s house in Indiana. Writing her thoughts and feelings down on paper had always had a clarifying and therapeutic effect on her. It allowed her to enumerate and organize her thoughts, ordering them by importance and relative dependencies. It’s not like human emotions could be written out as a computer program, but journaling helped her restore order to the chaos that was her heart. She snuggled under the bedcovers, opened up the journal and started a new header, marking the stardate. She lifted her eyes to the opposite bulkhead, thinking about the categories of the key factors she needed to consider.

She looked at the blank page and put pen to paper. “I had begun slowly developing deeper feelings for B’Elanna, when she (accidentally) confessed she loves me. I need to sort out why my heart would even be considering getting that close to someone out here in the DQ, when I thought I’d already solved that question with Chakotay. Well I suppose, the heart wants what the heart wants.’ She sighed and continued, organizing her thoughts about what to do, using bullet points. 

• use names to indicate: “Captain” on-duty, “Kathryn” off-duty  
• when to talk privately to Chakotay & Tom  
• tell B’Elanna how very special she is  
• review SF protocols for the umpteenth time  
• talk/plan with B’Elanna about how we can handle strife or even breakup (goddess forbid)  
• kiss the girl

Kathryn felt a little better after spilling her thoughts onto paper. She felt ready to start her day, and more hopeful about working with B’Elanna to figure out their next steps.

**B’Elanna**

B’Elanna returned to her quarters and immediately began her nightly routine to get ready for bed. She undressed and entered the sonic shower. She always felt better after a nice sonic shower. The pulsating waves relaxed her. Once she was finished, she slipped into a pair of shorts and a tank top, her mind already thinking over the night’s discussion. She felt an urge she had only ever felt once after Vorik tried to mate, triggering the Klingon Blood Fever with the Vulcan pon farr. She had bitten Tom. This was different. She wanted to initiate the ritual. She wasn’t under some Vulcan trick. She wanted to mate with Kathryn Janeway.

‘Damn Klingon urges!’ She sighed heavily at the thought as she walked over to pull the blankets down, climbing into bed. The engineer pulled the blanket around herself, reaching under her pillow for Toby the Targ, squeezing him to her chest as she stared at the bulkhead, once against listening to the comforting sound of Voyager’s engines. She ended up falling asleep before her thoughts had the chance to run wild. 

B’Elanna woke up around her usual early time. The reminder she was off duty made her sigh heavily and turn over onto her side. She got through the previous day with no problem, but today she wasn’t sure she would be able to handle the boredom. Her thoughts drifted back to the previous evening. She knew she had given Kathryn a lot to think about, entering a relationship with her was not supposed to be an easy thing. She had never expected for Kathryn to find out about her romantic feelings and attraction. But, now that they were out in the open, she was curious if Kathryn would allow herself to have happiness outside of her position as ship’s Captain.

B’Elanna dragged herself up and put some effort to get dressed for whatever the day had in store for her. She didn’t have intention to leave her quarters. Today was going to be slow, quiet and boring for the usually active Chief Engineer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holodeck Supervision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The last chapter!

Deciding to not reveal the depth of her feelings just yet, Janeway had flagged down her XO to ask him about B’Elanna’s holodeck suspension. “Chakotay, B’Elanna has told me she’s committed to waiting out the Doctor’s orders, but I’m afraid our little Klingon is going to climb the walls in boredom. It occurs to me that she’s been on good behavior beyond the majority of her suspension period. Would it be perceived as favoritism, if I let her have holodeck access, under the direct supervision of one of her superior officers?”

Chakotay opened his mouth as if to say something, tilted his head to the side, then continued. “No Captain, I think that would be appropriate. Given what she’s been through, a period of active healing would be good for her. Who did you have in mind for supervision?” he asked warily.

“I thought I might. After all, that was the reason you pushed me to go on that away mission, to be a better friend to her?” Janeway said with a wink.

Chakotay rolled his eyes, “I'm glad that you picked up on that, but I did not intend such horrific consequences. Sorry captain…“

Janeway chuckled, “No harm no foul, Commander. Let’s just say that it was a bonding experience for us.”

“Well then I’m glad. You’ll probably find some openings in the mid afternoon, Beta shift has cleared the decks by then, but Alpha shift hasn’t shown up yet. Harry is pulling an extra half-shift today, so I don’t really need you on the bridge at that time.”

“Wonderful! I’ll book it,” dismissing him in so many words. She pulled open her screen and rapidly shot off a private message to B’Elanna. ‘Can you make it to Holodeck 1 at 1500? I don’t know if you can find time in your busy schedule.’

B’Elanna was reading when she heard her workstation beep. She moved to get off her couch and walked over to activate the workstation. Accessing the message, a smirk crossed her lips. ‘I don’t know, Captain, my schedule is PACKED with things to do--yes, I can make it to Holodeck 1at 1900.” She sent the message off.

Kathryn glanced up from her work at the sound of the beep, and quickly scanned the message. She chuckled at the banter, with a happy cloud wrapping around her secret heart. ‘You choose the adventure. See you then,’ she signed off.

B’Elanna smiled at the message, ‘See you soon-- B.’ She sent the message before going back over to sit down, thinking about what program she would like to run that would help her relax. She figured this was a supervised holodeck session. She wanted her Captain to enjoy it, but also wanted to show she could run a holodeck program following protocol. A few minutes before 1500, B’Elanna left her quarters, dressed in comfortable shorts and a tank top, and took the lift from deck 9 to deck 14. She walked to Holodeck 1 and waited for Kathryn to arrive.

Kathryn left the Bridge early, stopping at her quarters to quickly freshen up and change into casual clothes that would be comfortable for a wide variety of scenarios: sturdy sandals (she knew B’Elanna did NOT like the cold), a mid-thigh-length athletic skirt, and a snug lavender-purple sleeveless top. She carried a hat and sunglasses. Looking critically at her reflection briefly, she felt fit and trim. She arrived outside Holodeck 1 at precisely 1500. “Well hello B’Elanna,” she smiled warmly.

B’Elanna looked up at Kathryn as she heard her greeting and smiled, taking in her attire. “Hello Kathryn.” She said. “You look nice and comfortable, which is perfect for the adventure I have in mind. I figured we could spend some time on the beach in the Paxau Resort. It’s nice and relaxing. If you want to bring it up for us.” B’Elanna motioned to the panel so Kathryn could do her ‘Captain’ thing.

“Fun in the sun, eh?” she said as she entered her authorization code overriding the suspension lock-out, then surreptitiously added a secondary lock-out that would allow them privacy. She didn’t want any unexpected interruptions. “That sounds lovely. I miss the warmth of the sun, the wind and the waves. Did you ever go to that surfer’s beach in San Francisco near the Academy? I seem to remember your record saying something about you being an excellent swimmer…?”, she asked as they strolled into the holodeck. At the familiar sights and sounds of the Paxau Resort, she smiled broadly.

B’Elanna nodded as they entered the holodeck program, letting out a pleasant sigh as she felt the warmth on her skin. She knew it was the holodeck, but the simulation had the ability to feel real. “Yes, I am a fairly decent swimmer. I am rather athletic and into most competitive sports actually.” She explained. “And to answer your question, no, I never made it to the surfer’s beach. I had planned to go there at one point but before I did, I left the Academy and joined the Maquis.” She looked at her, “Let’s go walk on the beach.” She motioned down the steps onto the sundeck so they could access the beach.

Kathryn’s eyes twinkled at B’Elanna’s admission of her physical prowess. Remembering her journal entry about making B’Elanna feel wanted and appreciated, she said, “You are so strong,” she laughed, “I like that. It makes me feel safe. Safe to be with you, and safe that I don’t need to worry about you as much. I bet you were able to beat most men… except for some of the alien males, I suppose.” She grinned admiringly at the beautiful woman, glancing over her strong deltoids and biceps. She always did love a good set of guns.

B’Elanna looked over at Kathryn, not expecting her flirting words about keeping her safe. “Mm, I think you’re the one who keeps me safe,” she pointed out with a smile. “I definitely want you to feel protected and safe though.” She added after catching Kathryn’s eyes roaming her arms. She smirked, deciding to stretch and flex her rather toned arms, “I can hold my own against just about anyone. It helps being half-Klingon,” she winked. She took the moment to look over her Captain, taking note of how her shirt seemed to cling to her upper body and of her toned arms. “You look as if you could hold your own too, Kathryn.” She reached out and let the backs of her fingers run the length of the woman’s arm.

Kathryn felt a shiver run up her spine. ‘Goddess, she drives me crazy.’ Kathryn smiled softly. “It’s true, I’ve had to put my foot down once or twice.” She gently, respectfully placed an arm around behind B’Elanna’s shoulders and guided her across the sundeck. “How about that walk on the beach now?” 

B’Elanna felt the touch and shuddered a little. She gave a nod, “Yes, let’s go. That IS why we’re here,” she smirked playfully as they walked across the sundeck and down to the beach. B’Elanna took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the salty air. It was calming, and something she needed. She looked across the ocean, listening to the sound of the waves, walking slowly alongside Kathryn as they casually strolled across the beach. She let her mind drift off, mostly thinking about the woman beside her and how nice it felt to be with her.

Kathryn had popped on her hat and sunglasses before stepping out her sandals to walk along the soft sand of the beach. Squinting into the bright light always gave her a headache. She breathed deeply of the salt air, and marveled at the holodeck’s simulation of the heat, scent, textures, and sounds of an ocean beach. It wasn’t Earth, or even shore leave, but it allowed one to momentarily forget they were warping through the Delta Quadrant far from home. ‘Home is where the heart is,’ she thought. Then that made her think of the current subject of her heart’s ponderings, B’Elanna. She was glad she had done that journaling this morning. She felt a little more collected, less confused, today. She decided to jump right into it. 

“So, how are we going to handle this? From our discussions, I’m certain that YOU will be able to balance the on-duty/off-duty aspects of a potential relationship with the Captain, but it’s sometimes difficult to make those distinctions inside my own mind. The reinforcing cue would be how we address each other, by our rank titles or by our names. Does that sound okay to you?”

B’Elanna looked from the ocean over to Kathryn as she broke the comfortable silence between them. ‘Is she giving us a chance?’ She thought, an exciting feeling pulsing through her as her stomach tightened and twisted with butterflies. She was quiet for a second, “Well…” She paused a moment. “I think it’s already pretty clear how we should address each other… on-duty, you’re Captain, Captain Janeway. Off-duty, Kathryn or whatever shortened version of your name you like.” B’Elanna tilted her head, a smirk crossing her lips. “I don’t think it has to be that complicated, Kathryn. I respect you as my Captain, and I would never jeopardize your command.” She stressed her words, hoping to convey that she had thought about what this would mean.

“B’Elanna, I have no worries in that regard, of you actually jeopardizing my command decisions. I trust you completely, with my ship, and my crew. You have matured into a consummate professional that I rely on.” Kathryn said.

B'Elanna smiled warmly at the compliment, surprised at how well she has done adjusting to Starfleet life. She didn’t respond as Kathryn continued. 

“It’s ME that I’m worried about here. Granted, my intellect operates at warp speed, but my emotions are limited to planetary thrusters. I need to think, and write, and say these things out loud before we can move forward. I’m trying to work through, to brainstorm and figure out all the potential ways that this could go wrong, not because I’m pessimistic about how wonderful you could be, but because I want it so badly, want you so badly. I never got this far with Chakotay. Never needed to work it all out for myself.” Kathryn paused to look at B’Elanna.

B’Elanna offered the woman a small smile, “I understand where you are coming from, Kathryn. I do. You think like a Captain, as you should. While I’m an engineer… I fix things as they come up,” she explained softly. “I don’t sit in Engineering trying to predict how I'm going to fix the next problem that arises because I never know what will happen.” 

Kathryn continued, “Do you think you could help me troubleshoot all the potential hazards, so we can map a way forward, together, one that side-steps any pitfalls? You know, plan for the worst,” she stopped and warmly turned toward B’Elanna, taking both her hands within her own and gazed into deep brown eyes, “expect the best?”

B’Elanna squeezed both of Kathryn’s hands, her thumbs moving over the soft knuckles, “Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about starting this relationship thinking about the negative pitfalls. It will just make me feel like we are doomed before we even have a chance to start something... but, what I can promise you is that when something arises, I will be here to help and assist you to work through it. We will navigate it together.” She said, gazing at her Captain.

“Yes,” Kathryn said through an exhale, the tingling, electric movement of B’Elanna’s thumbs having an almost relaxing effect on her. Or maybe it was the words of support and commitment that somehow chased away the tensions that were wound into her body. “Together, we just might be able to do anything we set our minds--and hearts--onto. I know we can.”

“I really need to know, though… are you giving this--us--a chance?” B’Elanna asked, quietly, as she moved her hands from Kathryn’s and wrapped her arms around the woman’s waist, pulling her close, finding their bodies fit almost perfectly together. “Because, I want you too.” At this, she suddenly tugged hard so that their aligned hip bones snapped together, as if they were engaged in a dance of tango. “It was really hard for me to leave you last night”. B’Elanna couldn’t even begin to describe the feelings coursing through her, having Kathryn close, while being uninjured and fully alert this time.

As B’Elanna the Bold had reached in to pull her close, Kathryn’s hands had drifted to B’Elanna’s arms, and as she was pulled in tightly, her hands slid up along the arms of the half-Klingon, thrilling at the feel of the lean, rippling muscles under her touch. When B’Elanna caused their hip bones to crash, Kathryn released a surprised gasp at the electric lightning that flared at the apex of her thighs. Her arms continued to wind around the shoulders of the beautiful woman in front of her. As she quickly tried to decide what to say, what to do, to answer B’Elanna’s questions, she could only focus on the crimson lips right in front of her. Briefly, as her eyes drifted shut, she remembered her journal entry from this morning:

‘• kiss the girl’

and she lost all awareness of anything but the woman in front of her.

\------  
-Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did ya'll enjoy? Thank you for all the feedback, comments and likes.
> 
> There may be more in the future!


End file.
